Over the years I have read and have done some reasearch, so now I lay this out to all of you. It is believed that chrildren that are molested as youth will one day marry or be drawn to these kinds of people , if this be true then why do they not have the sence to know these and get away from them? do you believe that this is right or wrong? I know that we as pagans see many different perspectives when it comes to liveing life, but is their a limit? I have often seen this handed down through generations first at the hands of their parents and now them selfs , what makes people do this? or is it that we still live in the past where sex was ok with anyone or any thing or person reguardless of age or gender. I may not answer all of you just looking for perspective here and what other think , I dont do debates , but I do follow the therads without others notice . I know this is a deep subject matter , but in such a modern world is this truly alright? no gripes, no BSing , just your perspective . Thanks MP Fantumofthewinds
People do change, the question is how much. You will change. I will change. We will all change for one reason or another. For some people it will be a small amount and for others it will be complete life changes. My father was a raving asshole, until he lost his fingers in an accident. Now he is calm and collect. I still have trouble accepting that he has changed, but he has. The universe is in constant change and motion and we are part of that universe. Change can and does happen every day. Who is to say a monster can't be turned back into a caring soul? Stranger things have happened. But to compare what is going on with a molester to his victim would in fact be apples and oranges.
"and would you want them next door to you?"
Have you ever looked at a sex offenders registry? I am surrounded by rapists, molesters, etc... So I have no choice but to live next to them. Am I going to go shoot them? No. Am I going to teach my children the things they need to survive in this world? Yes. What other choice is there? Keeping my kids locked up so nobody can hurt them? Living in fear and being obsessed with what that neighbor or this neighbor is currently doing? Absolutely not. That isn't a healthy way for my family to live.
"if I was and wanted information from a book sarry I would go their , I dont mean by any means to condem this is not my place , but I did want real expressions as well as thoughts from real people , thats not to say some book writter is not real, but the more facts one has the more one learns"
Psychology was my minor. I decided to work with digital unreality as a career (CS as major). But, as I have learn through the years, if you have a question you should research and researching is best done on multiple reliable fronts. While I was not condemning you asking here, it is curious. Books by people working in the field are a much better source of information. If you want real expressions I recommend reading "The Courage to Heal". It has experiences told by molestation victims and talks about steps towards healing. Those are people who not only went through it, they took the steps to heal and change. There are some heart breaking and hopeful stories in that book. While there are people posting here who have in fact gone through it, and I am sure many of the experiences are real, you are, after all, asking this question on an Internet message board. There is absolutely no way for us to verify any information received here unless sources are given.
As an aside... I did some searches on molestation victims marrying molesters and came up empty (there was plenty of info on gay marriage leading to molestation (which I also do not believe is true)). Does anyone have any reliable sources on this topic?
that list is a little flawed actually. There are too many that should be on there that aren't, then you have the neighbor down the street that drank to much and mooned someone and there he is on the list. I think they really need to get a better list and more detailed as to if in fact they are rapists, molesters, or someone with a bad sense of humor.
here's my perspective as both a psychology major and someone who has seen this. the reason why they gravitate towards obviously harmful people is because they may view themselves as damaged goods. no good person would want someone so "dirty" and "used." so they go for someone who they "know" wont mind. the fear they experienced while being abused as children sticks with them even through adulthood. thats why they may stand by even as it happens to their own children. im not saying every adult molested as a child will do this. it just may explain why some of them do. on the other hand, you see a lot of women who were molested as children "sleep around" because its a way of gaining what they see as some kind of control. they cant fix whats been done to them, but they can control just how much they mess themselves up. has this helped?
You are 100 % correct Rachel. Most woman dont over come what happened it is always in their head as damaged goods. So when they get a man who is abusive, or another child molestor they feel inside that is as good as they can get because no one wants them. This is not just a mental abuse that happens to them it is physical as well. I am in school right now for my psychology degree. I am in it to help kids persive themself as better than what the guy/girl that made them seem they are no good, damaged.
very good insight, curious , do you believe that this happens to all persons who have been molested? [ loose] the lack of a better term . I dont think this would inpower them , but possibly make them relive the pain in the head ? does it help the healing process or does it do more damage? I know that they the chrildren are not responisible for that which happened to them, but do you think that they get satisfactsion later in life or just a replaying of the act its self ? Fantumofthewinds
I personally thing it is all about the person and if they have truely over came what has happened to them.. I was molestated by a 60 year old man when I was 8 years old til I was 10 years old. I really didnt have that help to talk about what needed to be talked about. The worst part of it all he got a slap on the wrist and told not to do it again. I had to face him going to wal-mart or to the local fair. It was hard but I grow up and understood that he was sick and it wasnt anything that I did wrong. I have never been attracted to a man that does that. I had a child however at a young age I was 16 and I had a little girl. I did everything to protect her. I was more than ever watching out who I was with because I could never let her go though that. What honestly makes people do this is truely not known yet it is like a serial killer we dont know what drives them to do it. They just do it is something in their head that is wired completely wrong. It is a mental sickness. Since, I have gone through this at a young age I have been on lock down it took me alone time to get out of that Then having my daughter put me back into it. I have been married to a wonderful guy for over a year now been together for 4 years and have known him over half my life. He is not like that, I dont see how women can go back to something that hurt them inside and out. It is not just a mential pain they go through it is phycial too..
Yes, it does. I want to be there to for kids that was in the situation that I was in and understand what they are talking about., When there was someone there all I got was an I understand how you feel but when I asked if they had ever been through it they always answered no. So to me they really wasn't helping me because they didnt understand what I meant or how I was feeling
My dear sister, I am a survivor of sexual child abuse from my father. I am fine with opening up about it as I have left it in my past. I don't know why someone would turn to the same torture. He had 13 brothers and sisters and I have no idea if he was abused as as child. All I know is it makes me sick when children as abused in such a way that their whole life can be destroyed.
I decided not to let it break me. And I use it as a tool to help others.
I agree with you on the part of being more sexual active. I feel the same way about myself. I was 14 when I first started having sex and got pregnant at 15 had my daughter at 16. I may but I may not have been that sexually active if it wouldn't have happened to me. I will never know though.
Same goes for me... got into a car with a couple of the wrong guys when I was a kid...
Can't see how anyone could do it to a kid... certainly never did anything like that myself, but it's taken years to not be afraid of large men...
Hey, do you know the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
Well, one is white, plastic, and dangerous for little kids to play with.
The other one is for carrying your groceries.