All Beliefs are Welcome Here!
i don't have whole lot of access to any books that can help find an answer or people who would be able to help me face to face... so i'm gunna ask here! :)
i guess i should start as fare back as my memory with these occurrences go.
at about the age of 10ish i was going to bed and about half asleep when i happened to look up at the door of the bedroom i shared with my mom and sister, i saw what looked like a shadow of a person standing in the door way. the hall light (or one of the room lights near the hall) was on and should have casted the shadow on the floor or wall where i could see it- this looked more like a silhouette of a person (imagine a person covered from head to toe with thick black paint.), no features showed at all. at first i thought it was one of my cousins or brother checking on me, but after a few seconds the 'thing' grinned at me and didn't feel at all like anyone that i lived with at the time. now the grin didn't look like a normal one with white teeth... it looked like jagged uneven teeth that looked some how darker then the rest of it's self and dripped with something that looked thick and not at all like saliva. i nearly screamed and covered my head. when i looked back it was gone, but i got the feeling that it was still there.
that was the first really vivid encounter i had with anything like that. mostly it was just things that looked like at trick of light or like hair brushing my skin or the feeling of never being alone when i was physically. nothing that frightening happened for a while after that. there where times that i would hear things like they where being whispered in my ear or a nudge from no where, at night i would see weird shadows on the wall. all the while (i was kid at the time) i thought it was just my imagination going nuts. but i knew i was different then other kids in school or my family. i could feel things from people and animals, i would always know how someone was feeling or if they where good or bad.
my second encounter with this was about the age of 15-16. again when i was trying to go sleep, only this time it was much later at night, i was starring at the wall trying to bore myself into sleeping. i noticed something weird on the wall- a yellowish shadow on one of the walls that no light was shining on or anything was in front of. at first i thought it was a trick of light bouncing off something in the room. of course i looked around to see if anything was reflecting the strange shadow-light, nothing. the room to the hallway that led to the bathroom was closed and there was only one window in the living room that let in a small amount of light from the outside street lamp. the apartment at the time was pretty empty (a new location), so there was nothing for the light to reflect off of. i tired to ignore it, but the air in the room started to change. it's hard describe the feeling, it was chilly but at the same time it was stuffy, that's the best i can describe it. as i starred at the wall with the shadow-light on it it looked like it was a wavy blob on the wall that faintly resembled a person (more like a person with a sheet on their head), and that changed too. the shadow part seemed to look like swirling smoke, while there was a outline of soft yellowish-white light around it. i wasn't scared until it looked like it was pounding on the wall. i felt a change in it's mood as well, it went from searching-finding-and wanting to kill. i have no doubt in my mind that it was after me. i could feel the hate and rage coming off it in almost tangible waves. to this day i don't know why. but i do know that if i hadn't nearly screamed in my mind for it to go away, it might have killed or hurt me. it certainly felt like it wanted to.
about a year later, living with my dad in a town house really close to the school i was going too at the time was another encounter with a spirit. it was just me and my sister in the house at the time, our dad and his wife where out. we where goofing around and i ran up the stairs to my room with my sister not too fare behind. right at the top of the stairs i miss judged a step and fell back wards. i DEFIANTLY felt hands push me back up when that happened. when i turned around i saw my sister with a scared look on her face at the bottom of the stairs. we didn't talk about it other then she was glad i caught my balance and didn't fall. we both joked, later on that night, about never experiencing or seeing someone 'fall up' stairs before. she looked kinda freaked out by it, not just fear of me almost getting hurt- but something else (no she doesn't get the feelings i do or believe in the same stuff i do.). for as fare back as i can remember i always was a klutz or not paying attention to my surroundings that could be dangerous. i've always felt that a good something following me around as well as bad things, the good feeling got stronger when i was in a dangerous place or situation, and can remember feeling hands on me when i was in danger of being hurt in some way. like nudging me in a different direction or (a few times) physically moving me out of harms way. the bad feeling/s would always be pushed (scared??) away by the good one, it was never the same bad feeling at the times they would occur, more like a different bad feeling (spirit?) every time. i don't remember it being there when the really bad ones tried anything, i think i was too scared to notice it or it couldn't help me... i'm still not sure about that.
but more recently i've have a bad presence (i kinda know what they are now, lol. kind of..) that's not left me alone... i've always felt the good presence since as fare back as my childhood memories go, but this bad one is only about a few years old. it constantly conflicts with the good spirit (??) that's always with me. it started to come around about the same time i meet my ex-husband... we've been separated for almost 2 years now and it hasn't gone away, even when i tell to. once it even tried to hurt me in the shower. at the time me and my ex where dating and lived in separate places. i had just got out class and went to my room to take a shower. during my shower i noticed that the water kept getting hotter then i normally keep it and there was a feeling like someone was standing right out side the shower stall. i didn't think nothing off it at first, just my feeling other people move around the different floors and the water being weird again. then i felt like i was suffocating, like something wrapped around my neck and was trying to choke me. needless to say i was scared out of my mind! i tried to brush it off as paranoia at first, but then i really started to have a hard time breathing and demanded that it or more to myself, that i get a grip and get back to normal. it took a few minutes, but everything got back to normal and i was out of the shower like a bat out of hell... that was the only time it actually touched me. after i told my ex, it backed off when he was around and would just follow me when i was alone.
a couple years later when we where moving from Michigan back to California, we drove all the way-lol, did i get a really bad feeling. the feeling was so powerful that i started to cry almost hysterically. i just knew that if we didn't get off that road we where on that we where all going to die. at the time my daughter was almost 2 years. when i got this feeling we where fare off from any town or off ramp. as we kept going looking for an off ramp the feeling was becoming panic and i told my ex (husband at this point) that if we didn't get off this road, now, we would not make it to California alive. i was to the point where i was going to make him pull over on the highway and just rest there, when we came to the next town. the next day there was traffic jam almost starting at the town we stopped to rest at and went on for a while. when we finally reached the area that caused the jam i nearly screamed, because there was a van completely mangled and turned over on the side of the road, a 18 wheeler pull off to the side of that same road, emergency cars every where.. the worst part of that site was the toddler seat that was on the side of the road and the body bags being carried off, especially the small one that was still really close to the car seat. i cried for hours after seeing it, on and off. i still feel a little guilty about being glad that wasn't us. that's the first time in my life that i was REALLY grateful for my abilities that made me weird to most people.
haven't had any really intense encounters like in a while. i know what some of things i'm going throw are and i accept what's going on around me and with me. i've always just kinda rolled with it- what could i do? but i want to better understand what's going with me. i've read some books/articles/etc about paranormal things and it's helped some what. but more recently (i'm sure what the cause is) i haven't had much contact or experience with spirits or anything like what i've said before, though i still get feelings every now and then if they are strong enough or dangerous. i think to some extent i'm blocking my abilities and i think the result is these almost mind numbing headaches i have almost all the time, feeling tired all the time, and the sense that i'm missing something (which i'm sure i am..).
so if someone can give me some incite about all this, that would be much appreciated. :) i'm not sure if just reading paranormal books is the only thing i need to be looking at, cause there's a bunch other stuff that i've experienced that i think have nothing to do with spirits but still fall under that same category.... some help, please! o.O
I've been interested in the paranormal for a long time and since I come across paganism and started to read up about rite and rituals its made a lot of the stories i've heard a lot clearer and easier to understand. I'm not easily scared, even in the presence of evil, I'm not sure if that overconfidence in myself and spirituality, foolishness, or the fact that I am spirit strong.
I have a natural ability to unconsciously sense and mirror others emotional states, this can cause a real problem for me in public spaces, like shopping malls, where there are lots of people around as I feel a "flood" of emotional information and I feel I have to get out of there.
In my opinion there seems to be no doubt your third eye is open and very active. This in it self can be part of the problem. Ive not been able to successful open my third chakra but I'm continuing to read on the subject and practise this. I believe it is a natural ability most people are born with, which is why a lot of stories start from when people are young. I also believe that children see spirits and are not aware that these spirits either should not be there or cannot be seen by most adults. People that i've spoken to on the subject of the third chakra (third eye) say they have two "modes". The first is like a radar where they are not actively focusing their sense but if anything spiritual comes near they can sense it. Second is like a spot light where they focus on a specific item, area or person. This second mode is more power intensive and can leave you feeling drained and can manifest in headaches.
It seems that you also have a spirit guide which is your good spirit, this can sometime be a relative or ancestor spirit who has already passed over. Its been suggested that people who have opened their third eye can attract the attention of other spirits good or bad, but I have not seen enough to think of it as widely accepted.
do you know the ritual of putting up a spiritual field? It is more of a visualization technique where you visualize a pure white light coming down from above surrounding yourself like a forcefield. Also have you tried meditation to try communicating with your spirit guide and ask her what you can do to help keep the evil ones away.
Another couple of things that has just pop in my mind:
1) Have you tried to sage your house?
2) A common thing that seems to link all your stories is when the evil one is near you express your "negative emotions" E.G fear, screaming, crying. It seems like this evil spirit or demon is feeding on this, it gets its power from making you feel bad. Could you try suppressing the natural reactions or give out positive emotions like singing you favourite song, thinking of people you deeply care for. Its not usually a good to speak or give any recognition to the evil spirit.
Hope some of this helps