life is funny, you learn to live and love,

but one thing they don’t teach you, is how to let someone go,

go on to the other world, to another plane of existence,

they say you should be happy they are in a better place,

so how do you let that person go… 

the one you loved, the one that was so much a big part of your life,

the encouragement,

 the father,

the friend,

the one man in your life that loved you know matter what stupid shit you did,

 tell me…how..


Family holidays

always thinking about how it should be.. looking at a person wishing it where them.. but seeing them and feeling pain ten times harder every time… how to get over that pain and put on a smile… is harder than putting a knife through your heart….


how many knives go through my heart each time I think about you.. each time I wish it was different … crying when no one is near… always feeling alone no matter who is around.. always seeing a different problem

pain is a hard thing to let go. it lets you know when you are alive.. lets you know when you are dyeing and wishing it was different..

Give me pain any day of the week… I have grown used to it in the many months.. it lets me know what death feels like…


Promise Daddy..

I will be strong for you.. to do the things in life you could not.. to live and to be proud of me.. to be the lady you know I can be.. to always fight and never let man bring me down.. this pain will always be with me no matter where I go or who I meet.. I will always wish you there beside me to make me stronger.. like you always did.. But this is my promise to you daddy,

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