Ok. Everyone talking about real men and bemoaning why they are single.

Listen up. If you are having trouble finding a relationship, typically it is because of you, not the internet, the men and women of today, loss of traditional values, etc. It is probably you. I know it sucks to hear this, but that's ok, once you realize this, you can improve yourself.

To men saying it is women's fault because they don't know a real man. Yea, they do. Tell me, is your idea of manhood being nice to women because they are women and you might potentially be attracted to them, or because they are people and you should be nice to anyone who has not yet treated you with disrespect? Are you holding the door for everyone or just women? Why? Trust me. When I looked like a girl, I walked among them trying to pass as them. They can tell. Most of them dont like the idea of getting treated special just because they are the "weaker" sex. They are not "impressed" if you get into a fight on their behalf when they aren't in physical danger. That is stupid. You need to let them be their own person without jealousy. Manhood isn't hinged on how manly you are, it is hinged on how you feel inside. Being confident in masculinity without having to be a mean person because of that is super sexy. Trust me, I was pretending to be one of them long enough to know. This isn't even getting into the real... Can't really describe them without cussing, "men" who treat people with disrespect and make others feel unsafe around them. They are hopeless, so I'm just dealing with the well meaning men out there.

straight Women. Again, I was raised among you, I had to take my way through girl talk without feeling like I belong. It sucked, but I got a good idea of common issues from a male perspective. Here is where many of you go wrong. There is no other half. You are compatible with many people, and any relationship takes tons and tons of emotional work from all parties. You can't just expect a guy to come in and save you. Nobody can do it. Before you can be ready for a relationship, you have to learn to be happy and content single. That way when you get in a relationship you can be your own person. Your identity doesn't have to revolve around a guy. You should be you for you. Not anyone else. You are perfect the way you are. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. No other person can complete or fix you. You have to do that for yourself. Also, old fashioned values treated you terribly. Trust me. Did you know that knights used to do terrible terrible things to women in particular? They were thugs. Chivalry was created just so that knights could demonstrate that they won't rape or murder women. See? I pulled a chair out. I won't kill or hurt you, right? Yeah. That's how it started and why it should die. It's a relic of that time and should be replaced with being nice to people because they are other human beings first and foremost. Nobody ever should get special treatment because of gender. Men are benefiting from it the most, yes, I know that well, but that also means chivalry had to go as well, so everyone is benefited from true kindness, and not from outdated promises of not hurting you. We shouldn't need that. It is ok to be strong, it is ok to be self sufficient, nobody owns you but yourself, you have a voice, and nobody, no matter who they are, is better than anyone else from anything but their actions they take in life. This world sucks, but we need to change it for the better, one step at a time, and we are all capable of doing that.

If anyone wonders why I think I know this. It's because I'm polyarmous. When you have multiple, honest, open relationships at one time, you have to learn to be an adult, take responsibility for your emotions and accept that you are the only ones responsible for them. This is what I found that has worked for me, and I hope it helps other people as well.

Views: 222

Comment by Katey on July 5, 2016 at 7:06pm

If i may add-this includes everyone looking for a relationship dont expect THEM to live up to your expectations-either accept each other the way you are or it wont work.

Comment by Lothair Yul Dragonmyst on July 8, 2016 at 12:42pm
Considering the we don't typically have a problem with the stabbing in the back and don't use poisoned blades bit right now, I only dealt with the common definition of chivalry, the one that is still around. Also, you sound very very bitter and I feel bad for you. I just wanted to spread the message that people should be equal no matter the gender, and you just gave us a prime example of why women are being treated worse than men because of it. It is so much nicer to love an accept other people regardless of who they are or how they are. I don't get why people think it is more fun to be mean. It's not and if I try I feel God awful immediately afterwards. Women are not out to ruin our lives, or men either for that matter. The vast majority of them just want to live their own without hurting others. They aren't out to get you.
Comment by Lothair Yul Dragonmyst on July 8, 2016 at 12:47pm
How, not why women are being mistreated. Sorry, typo. I'm on my phone.
Comment by Lothair Yul Dragonmyst on July 9, 2016 at 1:01am
People tend to marry for love, not money. I'm a guy, and I'm marrying above me. People tend to get that money won't make you completely happy, so why not marry for something that, with a little work, will?
Comment by Lothair Yul Dragonmyst on July 9, 2016 at 1:10am
Also, I do understand that sexism hurts men as well as benefits them. Women are definitely getting the short end of the stick though. The things you mention don't compare to several things I've heard and experienced. Nobody is benefiting from gender role expectations, therefore we should get rid of them if at all possible, so that everyone can be free to be who we are without fear of others. Also, socioeconomic status should be a very minor factor in choosing a partner. That can change over time. Also, nobody is making you date single parents. Date who you want, that is just one of the many perks of a free country.
Comment by Lothair Yul Dragonmyst on July 10, 2016 at 2:54am
So far none of what you have been saying has been that life threatening. You will survive it. You didn't grow up being told to be careful of men because they will hurt you if you wear clothes that are too skimpy, if you don't pay attention to your drink at parties, even if it is a simple, low key party and all you are drinking is Pepsi. Don't walk places alone. Don't trust men, even their friends, because they are dangerous. You weren't compared to used toothbrushes and chewed bubble gum because you had a sex drive (I grew up in a conservative Christian home) if something does happen, people say it is your fault. And it starts from childhood. I was in bible school when this boy kept snapping my bra strap (I was twelve) teacher said just stop wearing a bra, because boys will be boys. Didn't say anything to the boy. I stopped wearing it, he groped my chest instead. Teacher ignored me when I told. I learned at twelve you can't trust anyone to help you if you need it if there was a boy involved. Age sixteen. I got groped at work. I was lucky I was in front of a camera. I was lucky they even looked at cameras when something like this happened. I am lucky girls came forward he also hurt. If none of that happened, I'd still be working with him. Girls told me how lucky we are because it happened to them before and nobody did anything when they came forward, not even look at cameras. The only reason they came forward was because I did. I'm still scared to go on walks at eight at night alone, even more so than before, and I live in a decent part of town. I was called a slut by my parents, who still don't know I'm a guy. Sexism hurts men too, yes, it does. People won't believe it when a guy is raped, even less than women. That is bullshit and has to go. Men are told not to cry, not to appear weak, not to be caring, not to show any emotion except happiness and anger. That is wrong. It hurts men a lot, and that has to go too. I've dealt with both of this, and I will tell you though, men have it so much easier. Trust me. This is why, when I transitioned, I resolved to be better. I resolved to care about everyone, make people feel safe around me, and take care of others, both men, women, and everyone else. Even if that is a "feminine" trait, it's a good one to have. But yes, women do have it harder.
Comment by Lothair Yul Dragonmyst on July 10, 2016 at 3:01am
Also, I assumed you said they absolutely are not about women getting the short end of the stick. If you said it about nobody benefiting from gender role expectations, or about nobody forcing you to date single parents, I apologise.


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