First of all, I am not a pollyanna. So I'm not posting this discussion from the unwavering love and light perspective. Yes, we all have had a bad day or have exhibited negative behaviour when that final straw on the camel's back was just too heavy. I want to focus on the chronic offenders of spreading negativity to all they encounter.
Why do people feel it necessary to share their negativity with others? It boggles my mind when I witness people deliberately exhibiting their negativity in the public arena. It's like they want the world to validate them in some bizarre way that escapes me. For example, a person in a bad mood feels it is okay to spread that funk to everyone within earshot and eyeshot because...THEY are in a bad mood. Yes, we've all been there from time to time, but do you do it all the time because if you're not happy then no one else should be happy? Are the witnesses of this consistent negative behavior supposed to be sympathetic and absorb the negativity? It won't help. It's rude and disrespectful to the person spreading the negativity and the audience.
These people who like to cloak themselves in their negativity seem to embrace the fact that their misbehaviour is just a part of who they are and we should all accept it as so. I don't think so. If that same person were to meet the bloody president of the United States, regardless of their political stance, would have enough sense to check their negativity at the door and get on with the good manners that's socially acceptable. Raging at the president in words and deeds only raises the blood pressure, encourages the Secret Service to manhandle you, and garner a stay in the local jail. Dare we call people who are unable to check their negativity at the door are mentally ill? Mind you, I'm talking about the chronic offenders who feel it is their right to spread their negative energy and bad behaviour 24/7 with no regards for...anything.
Seriously, if we as a society allow bad behavior and bad form to flourish without calling "foul!", we are enabling a darkness that will take generations to eradicate from the public forum. If a person who invades your personal space uses negative language, negative posture, and negative energy, don't give them a pass because they are 1) having a bad day, 2) have PMS, 3) woke up on the wrong side of the bed, or 4) whatever lame excuse they spit at your feet for validation. Call them on their bad behaviour if they are close to you (family and friend). Starting with the people you know will generate an effect on your microcosm that should spread to the macrocosm.
Here I go... I tend to be one of those annoying positive people. I deal with the public pretty much on a daily basis. I also work in a fairly smallish office. And in my new role a a manager, I HAVE put my foot down.
Yes, everyone has bad days, HOWEVER no one at the office nor one's patients or whomever else one may come in contact with that dreadful day needs or deserves to bear the brunt of someone elses bad day/attitude. Yes, I want it left at the door. Go hide in the office, or whatever. Just don't SPEW all over everyone else! If one needs to vent or talk or whatever, come to me, vent and talk away. But coming from such a negative workplace with the former boss (did I tell you she actually HIRED people to spy on us???), NONE of us wants or needs to go through that again.
No more eye rolling, no more closed door gossip sessions, no more letting loose on ones co-workers, no more going out of ones way to make others feel bad. Not putting up with it anymore.
That being said, I agree with d'Arqstar that we can choose to not be effected by someone elses bad attitude. It can be pretty hard to do when someone chooses to unleash it on you but it can be done. I like the analogy of the rock in the stream. And when bad days happen, I go out of my way to NOT effect anyone else as much as possible.
And I agree as well that without a little negativity, positivity would just just be blah, boring and would mean nothing. My mom always said, "Into each life some rain must fall." I'm sure it's a quote from someone, somewhere. But it's also horribly and perfectly true. And it's probably a good thing in the long run. Shit happens and shit makes great fertilizer, LOL. What a bunch of boring, unmotivated morons we'd be without some negativity in our lives to spur us into action! Or at least that's the way I see it. :)
Anyway, it's late, it's almost Monday, (speaking of negative, LOL) And no Selene, your butt is just fine. hehehehe
Seriously, I have a good, healthy dose of West Indian blood running hot through the veins of this Aries woman. Basically, when I'm hot under the collar, the city's temperature rises. LOL. I can not be boxed up neatly in a perfect little Stepford roll and it's unfair to expect everyone to do the same. What I'm aiming at is letting the people who are always negative to keep it to themselves or at least give the rest of us a time out. To quote another witch I listen to regularly I say this to the 24/7 negative folks, "keep that psychosis at home because I'm doing all I can to deal with my own". lol
I honestly find very negative people all so amusing -- I do, I can't help it, there is something to me so profound about a person that feel the need to lash out at others all of the time due to their own 'bad' times... The thing is also that I consider it a form of abuse, and naturally with that there is always excuses for the behavior and when called on it they are always sorry.
I have no issues letting people vent to me, but there is a rule for this scorp; when you present me with something be totally prepared for my opinion on it, it is just how it works for me; another thing is that I have no respect for people that aren't going to help themselves, complaining about misfortune is a part of life, but after a while it must be asked what was done to change it.
The universe needs the balance of positive and negative. Without both, there is an inbalance. The inspiration for this post had NOTHING to do with the internet. I'm not promoting a pollyanna agenda or a nanny state where people dictate to others how they are suppose to behave. SIN and Peace Lily touched on my inspiration for bringing this topic up. There seems to be an increase in people just letting-it-all hang-out in public, and it's disturbing. The stone thrown in the lake analogy is good. But how long can a person skip pass all the ripples before it negatively effects them? I want to stress the word "chronic".
People who are untreated bipolar tend to exhibit negative behaviours when they are on the down side of their condition that have a disregard to the effects and appropriateness of their behavior. I've seen a bipolar person rip into someone because they yawned in the midst of a conversation. Bipolarity is a mental illness. I can go down a list of mental conditions that may help illustrate the comment on mental illness, but that is not my purpose. In recent times, there seems to be a rise in incidences of people who chronically exhibit inappropriate, negative behaviour and they believe it is their "right" to behave the way they behave.
Is it wrong to tell a person to not share their dark cloud with you? If someone enters my home and decides it is okay to unload their negative energy, I will tell them to leave. My telling them to leave is the adult way of telling them that their behaviour is unacceptable. I have put people out of my car when they started to conjure up their dark funk in my personal space. Of course I warn them of the ejection so they can self correct before they have to hitch on to the MTA. It's disrespectful to the self to allow the negative behaviour. It's not Stepford to preserve a sense of public decorum that is not leaning toward anarchy.
Did I mention that I'm talking about the chronic offenders? I can't possibly be the only person who has seen these negative balls of energy hurling through society. Turn on one of these entertainment news shows and you see the "bad" girls and guys who are making it cool to be a negative being.
Seriously, you can't change anyone. A person has to want to change. At least you brought it to her attention. In the scheme of things, that is all anyone can do. My negative friend is a love, but she brings me down everytime I spend time with her. I've brought it to her attention and she pretty much brushed it off. In the end, I find myself spending less and less time with her. Whenever we do get together, I have to load up on some endurance training so I don't get caught up in the funk.
I think it takes a fairly self aware, egoless person to be able to recognize the fact that they are being a whiney-ass, buzz-killing, pain in the butt. Somebody said most people don't realize it or see it in themselves. IF we have the balls to actually point it out to them, we might really be doing them a favor....
I was not refering to anyone on this sight, just a general observation, LOL. And I do happen to have a LOVELY basket of balls in my living room, just so if someone tells me "You don't have the balls...", I can show them to them and say, "Yes, indeed I do!" LOLOLOL