I'm having dreams about my past. All the things done to me and things I over heard being said about me, by my family and others. With all this starting from the day when I started school on up. What's up with that? Am I being assessed or judged for something? I don't think there's anything that can be done about it now. It's all been done! The brats including Bill have all been dealt with. So what is going on?!
Is there something that Needs doing that this all ties into some how?
It seems to me that this is really mean and cruel making me relive all the things done to me and hearing all the things that were said about me it was all so hurtful when it happened to me the first time. So what if anything is going on?
I don't care to continue this experience so I placed a celestite under my pillow but I'm still having memory dreams! And I have to think Epona is looking at this, and only one Question follows it, "Why did you go through all this?" A pair of voices in unison asked me? I must not be giving them the right answers because it happens again and again. Finally last night, I said. "I don't know." And they said "You were rejected by the christian god, as well, what did you do to deserve his rejection?" Again I answered "I don't know." The voices then said "We must consider this." And the place I was went silent. And I woke up feeling very angry and hurt even with this being the past. I can't help feeling there's something that they aren't telling me.

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I've spent every morning this week grounding and recentering after these dreams I've had and I really feel it's not just the dreams but that there maybe something that is going to happen very soon that is going to change every thing for me. Is anyone else having dreams like this? I Don't know what's going to happen. But I feel there's going to be some changes made. What they are I don't know but after watching me attacked out of the blue for no reason but that I was handy to watch that beating from a third part perspective was no better than suffering it again. And I need some perspective. This has left me fopeful and fearful at the same time. I have been praying and affirmating an abundance spell that I cast a year ago into working Hanging the pouch of Gold ore coins and other money stones out in the yard trying to attract positive financial energy to me. I've been working on this now for over a year and it seems I've had minor Manifestations but it never lasts long enough to really get a chance to do any thing. Some how I feel that this is going to change But What is that change going to be?


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