This might just be the rantings of an angered artist at 2:30am but I think a lot of other artists might find some relief and solace in my words. 

I suppose I should tell you how I got to this thinking in the first place, long story short, while I was getting ready to draw the plans for a dress I'm making I came across a memory of mine. Grade 12 me taking two art classes, one for Grade 11 and then one the next semester for Grade 12, each teacher in each class told me I had to do good to get good grades and when it came to the middle of my last semester my last art teacher of my life took me aside after class one day to tell me my grades were good enough to get my credits but I would never be someone others would want in their art colleges. That was the day I had my life's dream crushed. 

Now after having this memory pass through me and bring back the hurt as if it had just happened a moment ago, I have a thought. There are great artists all around the world who've never gone to school or have and had their dreams obliterated like me, but then they keep going or they find what they are good at or try to do the same thing they failed at but doing it a different way and they succeed! Because they didn't do things the way they were taught, they did them the way they knew it would work.

This gave me kind of a mosaic of emotions, I couldn't do the things they wanted me to do because of the way they wanted me to do them. And because of that I was assigned a grade that would make sure I would never be accepted into any art schools. Ok, I honestly don't know which is worse to start negative or end negative so I'm just going to write this in chronological order as I dealt with them.

The first emotion was Anger.

I was so angry that it took me this long to figure this out and I'm mad at how art is taught, at least when I was in school or maybe it was just my school. I get the art history part keep that but, why not make art classes a place for kids to find out what they want to do and what they can do and then help them learn that instead of telling every kid "we all have to learn how to paint and it has to be done this way and when you draw you can't do this or use this tool, also don't even think of doing digital art, that's not real art....etc." 

I'M SO TIRED OF IT! Art is art. You can't tell me that my art isn't art! That macaroni and glue picture some mother has pinned on the fridge? That is Art! A homeless man painting fantasy landscapes and beautiful waterfalls with a little bit of pray paint or oil pain and just his fingers in a minute or two? That is Art! We all learned about Vincent van Gogh and how he was told that his paintings weren't art because they were different, now we all look back at the people from his time as fools, yes it was different but it was beautiful! I can't help but wonder if in a hundred, two hundred, maybe even a thousand years people will look back at our way of teaching art and think us mad too.

The second emotion was sadness.

I had a sudden realization that it's too late. For me personally, this thought has come far too late for me to do anything and bring about my shattered dream. I don't really want to talk about this too much so this is all I'm going to say for now.

The third and final emotion was a calming numbness.

After I calmed down I just felt the need to tell others about this in hopes that it's not to late for them or it might just be the words they need to hear right now. And this isn't just for artists, for anyone who is struggling please, take a deep breath and figure out what works for you. I know you can do it!

Blessed Be everyone.

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I just wish there was either a different way of teaching art classes or a better way of "grading" ones work.

I think I like that study too. 

I had a lot of trouble with art in school. I always felt boxed in confined to the lessons and projects given. There was such a limited scope that ALL of the class could fit into in such a shirt time. To me art is too mutable to have such a limited curriculum, trust me I get why it does by I always felt trapped. I never went on to pursue art after school because I never felt like I would be appreciated, I traded in art for artistry and became a hair stylist and makeup artist. I don't regret it but I do sometimes wish I could live off of my weekend projects and time filling projects I do now.

Yeah I think that's kinda where I am now, I gave up on trying to make anything that people would like and figured out a different career path. I don't think I necessarily regret that decision I'm just more sad about the fact that I was never taught how to improve the skills I had in art instead of trying to create skill where I just had none.

Just remember that we give a little artistic twist to everything we do.  Also a true artist cannot live without creating. So create in every venue you can. And do art to help you express yourself and sooth your emotions. Do it for yourself. There are two kinds of critics that are the worst. One is the non-artists of the world, and the other is ourselves. 

Art is meant to help the artists who make it and the world to see color and love. 

I wish you all the love in finding yourself and your purpose. 

Thank you and I do continue to draw and paint and do whatever it is I like, I just don't do it with the goal of it "paying off" for me. Also to make this thread seem less "oh poor me" I do have a new goal in life, I have several actually. It took me a while to get over that dream and find a new one though.

It's NOT too late. My grandmother was 86 years old when she earned het bachelor's of arts degree in history. It's never too late. If you still wanted to try for art scool you could start at a community college and go from there.
Sorry if I sound like a mom, but I will tell you what I told my daughter who is also an artist and found herself feeling oppressed by her art classes -- perform your art for yourself. Find your inspitation wherever you can. Display it in your home. Post it online. It doesn't matter if you are the only one that likes it at first, that is who you should do your art for.

Like I said before, I don't think I have it in me to fight for this dream anymore and I do continue to create and post my art I just don't expect it to make me money. Thank you for your inspiring words though, your daughter is luck to have you.

Thank you. I wish you the best of luck in all you do.

And the same to you

I actually know how she feels. I've been in a slump for a while. I have someone in my life who always manages to poop on the things that mean the most to me. Art and witchcraft. It's disheartening. I've done protective spells, healing spells if it's a way I've tried it. I have decided to keep some spirits so I do t have to be so vigilant. I'm bonding with them now. I'll let you guys know later if you'd like.


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