Thinking on the common statistic of 50% of marriages end in divorce I wondered why so many marriages fail in the United States.
Considering many people are Christian in this country I thought about the common rules applied in the Bible concerning sex and marriage and it dawned on me, conservative rules actually contribute to divorce.
One of the most obvious is, no sex before marriage. Not all agree on this statement, even within the Christian church, however, it's the most common perception.
Why does this cause for divorce, well think when you were a teenager, all those hormones raging and this hunger for sex. We are sexual beings and over millions of years our bodies have been trained to have children at a young age for survival.
Now, demanding there be a resistance to this sexual drive causes tension, stress and perhaps even an early marriage based purely on "let's do it". I'm not saying all young marriages are like this, however I can see why the "no sex before" rule would cause strife.
Other restrictions, like even thinking sexual thoughts, could cause frustration. There is also an emphasis on procreating also. I just don't understand why there are all of these non-essential pressures to put on people about sex.
Not all marriages are based on conservative ideals, however, do you beleive they could be a factor in divorce?
I think that a lot of it has less to do with Christian/Puritanical views on sex than that. As far as I've seen from a personal perspective, the divorces occur because people get bored of each other, fuck around on each other, or just plain don't have the resolve to work through their problems. Sometimes a combination.
There's this weird thought attributed to love, and the media isn't helping: True love conquers all. Which can be total bullshit. Even true love requires work, patience, and nurturing.
I think both are important. However, I think that intelligence attracts intelligence (to some degree) and ignorance attracts ignorance. As far as I've seen in the people I know, anyway.
On the matter of sex, sexual compatibility is hugely important. You could have a nympho and someone with a very weak libido, and that could create tensions. You could have two completely well-balanced people with differing 'kinks' so to speak. You could have two people who suck at sex, neither of them ever gets satisfied, so THAT creates tension. The possibilities are there.
Well, you commented on Sylvester's post, and he mentioned that sexual compatibility would be an issue if people waited for marriage to have sex. I agree that it would definitely work itself out during the dating process if the couple were sexually intimate while they were dating.
I'm a huge fan of premarital sex. =P You don't buy a car without kicking the tires, right?
I still have to say that those virgins will eventually either seek to branch out, or wonder what they are missing. I'm not saying that's true for everyone, of course. My grandparents were together since they were thirteen, married when they were eighteen, were with only each other for nearly 50 years when my grandfather died in 1998. They were happy, and she still can't imagine being with anyone else. So I'm not trying to discredit you. =P