We have a four month old baby boy at home(thank you!), and we don't get a whole lot of sleep. It's been very bad of late, since i got back to work. Everything is starting to feel really weird, what with the lack of serious rem time. It's like perpetually moving through a dream. I'm starting to wonder if i'm even real! Anyone else going through this or have done so in the past? Any anecdotes or wisdom to pass along?
I have three children, but I was lucky and they all seemed to start sleeping through the night fairly early.
When one of them was still small enough to be waking up at night, though, she would sleep in a small crib in our room. When she'd wake up, my husband (or I, later) would get up, check the diaper, then I'd nurse her in bed and we'd both fall asleep that way.
One trick is to leave the lights out if you get up for something in the middle of the night. Checking a diaper and/or giving a bottle (or nursing) with the lights out makes it much easier for the baby to fall back asleep, if he even wakes up all the way. It's also a clue that it's "sleep time", not "play time".
I went through this with my second child...he cried 24/7 if i was not holding him..a six month case of colic..Solution?? i have no clue..i survived it, and being really super honest, i look back now and have no clue how i managed that. I DO remember drinking a baby bottle and trying to feed my son soda...lol..i was so tired i got lost as to what i was doing, but i don't remember being ultra conscious as to how tired i really was, to me, this was my child, he needed care..didn't matter if i was tired or not..you just do what you have to so that the child knows love and comfort. When i speak of it now to my mother (who had four children) I am absolutely amazed with how she describes it..she just looks at me in wonder and says.."ya know..you never complained one time..not once" NO one else could hold my son without him screaming..no one else could handle watching him so i could sleep, simply because he would cry constantly so sleep was elusive. I DID get to a point where i would rock him in a rocking chair, and doze off ...i would prop pillows around myself so that he was stable on me and didn't roll off (another strange thing was if his breathing even altered a tiny bit..i would wake up instantly.)
That child will be 15 in August..he outgrew his colic, and has been an absolute joy to raise since then.. Even now, although an independent 15 year old..he still sticks close to Mom..which i love..My 18 year old daughter on the other hand..was an angel from the moment of birth..slept through the night from the day i brought her home from the hospital..never caused me a sleepless night as a baby..but caused me MANY as a teenager..lol
Just keep telling yourself, this too shall pass... He will grow up (and you'll be sad!) He will sleep all night eventually, (and you'll freak out because you'll think he stopped breathing!) You will get some sleep eventually! Power mini-naps is a good idea. Hang in there. Maybe you could have baby duty one night and your wife the next? Switch off like that? Just a thought.
Thanks everyone for the warm thoughts and the comiseration. I'm not really complaining, but i do feel like i'm in some sort of sleep depravation study! When i was a teenager, i used to take drugs to feel like this. Little did i know that all i had to do was stop sleeping!
been there, and I feel for ya. my oldest had collic. Flame has it pretty much. There are things you can do for baby to get them to sleep better. Lavender oil, even in a diffuser in the room, bergamot works well too. If you're not worried about all natural they came out with a lavender baby line for bath and lotions. Good luck, it will get better!
LOL! One time, when my son was a month old, my bf got up to get him a bottle. I'm laying there with a screaming baby for over 10 minutes. I finally get up to see what the hold-up is, and there is the bf in the kitchen holding the bottle...asleep....standing up! I was almost tempted to see hold long it would take him to fall over..and would have tested that if the baby wasn't hungry. ;)
Oh ho! Yeah, I remember those days -- even though my oldest is 16 now and I can't wake him up! LOL! He was a preemie, barely 5 pounds when we brought him home with the instructions to feed him on demand. The problem was he would nurse on one side and fall asleep so I'd have to slap his feet, unwrap him, change his diaper, anything to keep him awake for the second side. A feeding would take a good 45 minutes, then he'd fall asleep for an hour and wake up hungry again.
One time, I had put him in the bassinet and laid down for a nap, but he woke me out of a sound sleep and I jumped up, ran to the laundry pile and began frantically throwing clothes aside in an attempt to find him! I was so brain-addled it was three weeks before I came out of the fog enough to realize that he had fingers and toes.
Take good care of yourself and make sure you're taking all the good advice everyone's been giving here. This, too, shall pass.
first, let me offer you an invite to the parents group i started on here. its a great group of people with a lot of wisdom and advice to offer.
now for the advice. i am the mother of a one year old. when he was your son's age he was just as much to deal with, if not more. i was still in college at the time, but even after my classes were done i had a hard time. any time the baby was asleep i tried to sleep. you should have seen my apartment. what a mess! he was a very demanding baby, any time i wasnt right there holding him he would scream and cry. this is partly my fault because i always held him from the get go. i ignored some very important advice that i should have taken. if they are dry, fed, and dont need to be burped, let them cry it out. if the baby cries for more than 15 min then, of course, pick him up. but they need to learn to be content in their crib or swing. eventually they will learn that crying just to be held wont work. remember, they just wanna feel close to you after being in such a safe snug place for 9 months. try swaddling them nice and tight for comfort, while making sure he doesnt get too hot. other than that, to be honest, you're just gunna have to deal with it. do what you can with coffee and B vitamines for energy. good luck, hang in there, and remember, all things come to pass and you will know sleep again :)
Wow, does that bring back memories! My youngest, I had to wake her up to nurse from the get go, she was a sleeper! She was a preemie, so had to wake her up for the first 3 months, after that, she'd sleep 10 hours straight with 2 1 1/2 hour naps.
Now, my oldest, he didn't sleep through the night until he was 13 1/2 months old and didn't take regular naps until about then as well. He was a 20 minute power napper, lol. 8 months of colic also. The only way I got any sleep, (do sleep whenever he sleeps), was by either having him sleep with me, or in his car seat/carrier right next to my bed. He needed to feel safe and secure. Snuggled up to mom or strapped in his seat made him feel that way. We tried a crib, bassinet, and a cradle, didn't work. We tried the heartbeat bear, different types of music, etc.. You name it, we tried it and those were the only 2 things that worked with him. He was actually such a difficult baby from birth, that the nurses brought him in 2 hours after he was born and said he had to stay in my room because he was disrupting the nursery so bad...
Just remember, this too shall pass.