I am inspired by the attempt at being shot down to post this and it is something that is close to my heart.
Two of my children were slotted to be placed in a program called Quest in our school district, they said my children are gifted and talented... intelligent. Well, don't I know that? I refused them their request for both children, our 16 yr old when she was in 1st grade and our youngest two years ago.
When and if they choose to excel in their lives is up to them. I chose not to push and shove them, I wanted and want them to enjoy being children doing fun and normal kid things. I did not want them constantly spending all their time on extra work and special projects, I wanted them to go to birthday parties and play dates, to run outside, ride their bikes and have fun.
I was scowled at by teachers and administrators telling me I was doing my children a disservice... hehehe I wasn't. I was one of those kids in a program, I never had fun I was always busy with something extra for those classes and whenever I had a moment I would sneak out to the barn and run away on my horse. When I arrived back home I would be in serious trouble as I'd left my work strewn on the floor in my room. My parents called me their little valedictorian from about the 3rd grade on and I hated it, can you say pressure? No grade below a 95 was accepted from me and in my senior year of high school when my friends, one of them who taught me to be "normal" died, I refused to take my final exams. Every teacher gave me an 85 lowering my gpa to a 3.8 taking me out of the honors graduates. My parents were hateful and angry and when I dropped out of college I was told by my mother that I was the biggest disappointment in her life. I had three siblings, not one of them graduated high school, my little brother being much more intelligent than myself.
But the focus was always on my grades, my success by the parents and they pretty much ignored my sister and brothers who all hated me. Every grade I brought home made them feel unworthy and discarded.
So, what do you all think of these programs, are they good or bad, can parents use them intelligently and reasonably for one child and still support other children?
I am not against the programs but I am against parents who push their child to be more than a child for it is such a short time in their lives and there is so much more for them to learn other than how far they can go in being "book smart".
That is true, it is a most amazing thing.... I had a friend once, when her child was born she said she felt nothing for the baby at all. I was dumbfounded and could only tell her to talk to the baby, smile at her and love her, that one day in that child's eyes she would see the love shining back at her. It happened not long after but it was incredible that she had said that after carrying the baby and giving birth to her.
i think parents should be supportive of their children regardless of which path in life they choose. sadly, most aren't. if you do something that isn't part of their "dream" for you, then you're looked down upon and possibly disowned.
I've watched parents live through their kids... something neither my husband nor myself needed to. I did have some time as a kid to do the things I loved the most, on top of the schooling my father took us, to compete of course, in rodeos. I raised animals for ffa and 4h, but it was rare that while we were driving wherever I was just looking out the window, I was studying too.
I didn't want that for my kids I wanted them looking out the window at the world anticipating the excitement to come not worrying whether or not they'd finish the assignment before they went back to school.
Lycan had asked earlier if I'd pushed them before the school wanted them.. we hadn't, they knew their abc's and could write their names, Shelby could do much more because she just could I didn't make her, I didn't really work with her at it she did it on her own. The kid was speaking in complete sentences before she was 2 yrs old, she got up and walked at 7 months, never crawled just got up one day my mom said and took off, been chasing her ever since. We read to them like any normal parent would nap and bedtime stories but Shelby would go to her room and just sit with her books, .... we didn't think much of it we just knew she was smart. We loved her. Shelby and Trey our middle son are both dyslexic by the way and they still wanted Shelby... go figure.
Ryan wasn't anything like Shelby, we did call him the trickmaster because before he was three yrs he'd play the sega dreamcast Dave Mirra bmx game and rack up points and beat his dad and all the kids in the neighborhood, it got to the point where none of the kids would play with him so I had to... not a vidgame girl
Our Son Trey is wonderful, very smart, quiet, tons of friends and very active, great athlete... he is doing very well in school too. His motivator is sports though, he tends to get lazy and the grades drop but it's a no pass no play rule so he takes a day or two and the grades go back up instantly... I am waiting for him to realize he has a choice too.
I was scowled at by teachers and administrators telling me I was doing my children a disservice...
Lady Lea, don't you let them make ya feel that way for I allowed my, now 14 year old daughter, to skip first grade entirely as she was reading at a fifth grade level in kindergarten...she tested with an IQ of 144> at the age of 8 and I was told by the shrink that tested her that she had already hit the high school level in block design and math. In the interest of time, they stopped the testing at the high school level...so her IQ is more likely much higher than the results. The school suggested that she skip 3rd grade which would put her in middle school when she was 10...no we did not do that. It is a well proven fact that "genius kids" need to have their social needs met if they are to have any childhood at all. We opted to not skip any more grades. She's in High School now and will be 16 the start of her senior year. She doesn't bring home straight "A's" anymore but she keeps an honor roll grade level...she also has a whole bunch of friends and we feel that her social and academic needs are balanced...So don't let those educators put you down for doing what you feel is best for yer kids....good girl...you go...
Kuddos To you lea for thinking of your children like that...It is a sad thing when a parent or teacher tries to force a child into a program just because that child displays a certain inteligence...Children should be allowed to be kids as long as they can, they grow up so fast...You are an awesom mom and your children are lucky they have you...
Thank you my friend... there were times, like last year when Shelby was completely blowing it that I thought maybe if I'd put her in the program she wouldn't have acted out, but then the whole add drug scandal came out with the program kids and once again I was glad I hadn't.