I am no longer suicidal... I am more confident...and I am more compassionate... and I no longer have anxiety attacks.
When I was a practicing Christian, I suffered through both depression and anxiety attacks. Being a faithful person, I would start to pray whenever I felt alone or overly stressed. Prayer, for some reason, triggered a lot of misaligned guilt. Most of the time, my praying would leave me drained and wondering what would happen if I wasn't alive. For the longest time, the only reason I didn't commit suicide, was because I didn't want to make my mother sad, and that I would really miss her.
To help the anxiety attacks, I started meditations. I started with calming and relaxation (the ones that teach you to blank out everything). I had a lot of success with that, so I started doing introspective meditations. Around this same time, I was doing personal research trying to find answers to a lot of Christian based questions, and I was researching other religions.
Eventually, I realized that a lot of my core personal beliefs were echoed in Wicca, Native American Spirituality and shamanism. So... I started Dancing, I started Spiraling, I started Casting, I started Divining.
Everything I've learned, everything I've experienced; paganism has helped my find my strength, my temperance, and my peace.
Paganism has changed me. I think I have always been who I am.But being Pagan has changed my lifestyle and certainly how I see the world. Aware that we all have our own opinions, how the world grows and the beauty of mother nature.
What a beautiful comment.Amethyst. It is all around us, all we need do is look. To borrow a phase, Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I don't think we have enough beholders. I even somtimes forget. Thank you for reminding me. BB&MM LR