Hello all! 

I'm terrible at these intro things, so I guess I'll start with my back story as to how I came about being interested in learning about paganism and it's different paths. 

 I was raised Christian, pretty much since birth. I had no choice in the matter. However, when I started growing into my teens, I began to heavily question it. I just didn't feel..."it." That spiritual pull, that connection to anything about it. The florescent lights, the windowless walls, the church seemed so disjointed from any deity. I lived in a house on 3 acres in the middle of nowhere, and I spent all my time outside. ALL of it. I would run under the moon with my coy-dog (may she rest) I would explore every inch of the woods surrounding our property. I would spend so much time outside my mom worried that someone took me haha. I even named all of the trees in the yard. Not because of a pagan thing, I didn't even know what pagan was. I just felt that they needed names. 
There is one time in particular I still remember today. I was outside, on a swingset my dad built for me. He built it big enough so no matter how old I got, I could still use it. I LOVED it. I would go out every day with my headphones, just swinging. One night stood out. It was a clear, warm summer night. The swing set was on the edge of the yard, facing the tree line. I was swinging, listening to Loreena Mckennit, watching the full moon above the trees as I swung high, almost floating in the air. That is when I had a feeling that came over me I can only describe as Euphoria. I still, to this day, cannot reproduce the absolute feeling of peace I got swinging through the silver moonlight, reaching for the trees. 
I decided to study this in high school. I rented books, practiced rituals. It all seemed right. Then my dad got sick, real sick. Cancer. Everything was destroyed. I immediatly thought God was punishing me. I tried to undo everything. Even my sexuality. Then he died, and I was ruined. I thought it was all my fault. I was so scared to go back to who I really was, both spiritually and sexually, and dove into a guilt-drivin depression for years. 
I did some soul searching, and after 10 years decided, it wasn't my fault. There wouldn't be a god that petty,and if there was, I didn't want to serve him. 
that leads me to now. I have stepped away from christianity, and am exploring other spiritual paths. They all keep calling me back to nature. But I don't know where to start. I am so lost! I keep coming across "eclectic pagan", and I'm really interested in it. I really feel a very, very strong pull to nature. 

I'm very excited in meeting you all and learning more about paganism and it's different paths. I'm always open to any teachings anyone has to offer me, and of course friendship :)

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Welcome to PaganSpace!

I'm sorry to hear about your dad...but I hope that you find whatever comfort and happiness you are looking for here. :)

Thank you :) after doing some research for about a month, I feel like I'm finally feeling like myself 

Hey and welcome. I am one of those so called eclectic pagans.

Too many callings from too many paths :) 
I've been fascinated by Kemeticism since I was a kid, and Druidism and Native American Medicine are sort of from my roots. 

What an awesome intro! I am so sorry to hear about your father and I'm very glad to hear that you no longer carry that guilt, I'm sure your dad would have wanted you to be happy in life and following your heart and soul is what brings us to that happiness no matter what belief one follows. I think you'll find Paganism has as many ways as there are people who follow it. The best path for you to take is whatever journey you're drawn to, connect with that, follow it into that winding pathway and you'll never go wrong.

Welcome to PaganSpace, it's great to have you here among us!

thanks! I'm glad you found it awesome, I was worried I was rambling too much haha
It's great to be here!

I agree, what an awesome intro!  Sounds eerily similar to my own start down this path, so I can relate.  I am very sorry to hear about your father but it sounds like you've found some peace in your soul.  As Starr said, there is no right or wrong path and you are on your own journey.  Read and talk to lots of different people, and whatever feels right to your soul, explore that.  Many blessings to you!

Thank you! Yes I am knee-deep in research right now haha. Like I told Ariel, I'm not investing (or trying any spells or practices) in anything until I finish my year-and-a-day :)

Welcome to PS! I was raised christian too and have been finding my true path since Oct last year. You will find it, it just takes time :]

I would say that you should research everything you can before buying anything you don't necessarily need. People told me that, I didn't listen and now I am kinda wishing I did. 

Oh yeah, I'm not buying anything yet haha. I bought some books, because I love books and information about different religions and belief practices, whether I follow them or not. So even if I don't agree with them, I still find them interesting :) Other than that I haven't bought anything. I decided to do the whole "year and a day" study before I invest in anything unless something REALLY catches my fancy :) I've been doing a LOOOOT of studying and gathering of information since around Imbolg. (and that wans't planned, I had no idea what Imbolg was before I started researching!)
The only thing I'm going to do this year is start an indoor herb garden, and my boyfriend is going to have a lot of input in that for his cooking haha

Oh how wonderful! You have a smart head on your shoulders. My boyfriend has been growing an herb garden and he has been helping me learning herbs and whatnot for what I need. I am helping him take care of it and plant it this year though since I have much more appreciation for what he does and goes through. It sounds like fun!

my boyfriend is Agnostic. He accepts what I'm doing now, but that doesn't stop him from teasing me about it --_-- lol He's just excited that I'm getting into herbalism so he'll have herbs for his cooking haha I'm really looking forward to it :)


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