A few days ago, my husband and I went out to meet some relatives for dinner.  On the subway ride into the city, a large family group entered our car: an woman about 50 years old, two younger women with a bunch of young children and a teenage boy.  They all spoke over each other LOUDLY.  I think the whole car could hear them.  One of the younger women used words like "shit" and "fucking" in front of all the children.  She had a baby on her lap.  They also took out a big bag of fast food and started eating it, passing it around, right there on the subway.  None of that bothered me too much, but then I heard the older woman tell one of the kids, "Shut up or I'll slap you!"  She threatened to slap him twice. 

It disturbed me and I wanted to say something to her about it.  By accident, my eyes met those of the teenage boy, and he looked very embarrassed.  I said to my husband, "She just threatened to slap a child, in public."  He told me no to 'make a scene' and I did not, but now I think I should have.  I should explain here that in our relationship, he is the one who warns me not to transgress social conventions.  But I think in this case I should not have given in to the convention of 'let's pretend this isn't happening and not get involved'.  People should not threaten others with violence, especially not children.

So what would you do in this situation?  What should we do if we see parents threaten to slap their children?

I live near Brooklyn's Chinatown, and two or three times I have seen Chinese mothers slap small children in public.  They did not do it hard, and they seemed to do it only to quiet the kids, but it made me uncomfortable.

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Honestly, i think slapping and spanking is okay for smaller children, like under the age of 10.However, I do not know what qualifies as child abuse, because being spanked when I was younger just seemed to be the norm. I am a teenager now, so it doesn't happen to me anymore. My parents have always used harsh language towards and around me, and I've never seen a problem with it. I guess it all depends on personal experiences and beliefs.

i don't agree with spanking, it's just outdated..and since we know more now than ever on the brain, and child psychology... seems just plain out dated to me and a lazy quick approch to dealing with a situations, more impulsive and emotionally driven and less effective than other ways to work with your kids.

Spanking could lead to Criminal Behavior?   - maybe because it teaches children to obey only on threat of being punished and has not really given them any really problem solving techniques or built relationships on dialog and self discovery, maybe spanking creates a separation between...those who lay down the law if you get caught...be prepared to pay corporal punishment cost.... instead of a parent working with a child through each of their development stages and helping them weed through all the complex situations with out threat of physical injury, discussions on inner struggles and tensions caused in group dynamics when various roles/jobs/responsibilities are disregarded (as in a parent helps a child see how they fit in the systems they have to work in).   

Research Spanking is bad for all kids.

what could be the worse thing to happen if you yelled out, "Learn how to properly Parent with out threats of carpal punishment".  would they chase after you, would you get all upset and worked up and have it command your entire day by getting to that point....would it possibly cause that person to rerun the situation latter and internally work through it via their own conversation possibly creating something that allows to them to reevaluate their behavior.  i don't know.   I know i would want to say something, but sometimes i get nervous and afraid, which doesn't really help anyone and causes missed opportunities. 

peace

And if that's the way you want to raise your children, so be it... 

The first half of that was a good post, and ,as regarding the last paragraph, it was only a rant, seemingly, incoherent and detrimental to your argument.

people  forget  no matter  how  "civilized" we get we are still pack/herd animals.  sometimes..all the psycho bs  isn't  gonna cut it. 

 i love the  people  who are all "boohoo don't discipline your  kids. you  might hurt their fragile  lil minds"...and then the very same SPAWN of these ijjits become EVERYONE'S  problem an ya get the effin parents. (*snort* parents..how funny is that..should call em BREEDERS)  go on about  how they don't  understand  how their lil babies could do this that  or the other, they are   lil angels  effin blah bs blah...meanwhile they are  killing small animals , robbing people and  just  destroying  or tearing shit  up..or being disruptive shitheads  to everyone.

cause and effect, consequences for  an action..spanking  teaches that. and until the kids can understand what respect  is, let em fear their parents wrath! when they've grown  into some sense (mind you, there is a DIFFERENCE between smart/intelligent & experience/common sense) THEN you'll have decent  humans.

Jesus , kids are way smarter than folks  give em credit for.  they got this game figured  out to a T. they have it hammered  into their  head's what parents can and can't  do and what they can do to fix any  hint of a problem (meaning shit not going their way)  Congratulations folks..we've got several generations of  wolves  howling  around because  some fucknut's who've never had  kids  thought  up these GREAT  idea's  on how to raise  kids.  *rollseyes*

 i have met maybe 2  kids  in my  life that had parents who DIDN'T bust their tale  once  in a while that managed to be  ok..the rest of the no spanky  kids? just a waste of good solid  potential.

you go ahead and raise yours as you see fit & i'll raise mine as  i see fit..the truth will come  out in the end.

If you take the subway in the wilds New York city you will encounter fascinating creatures such as sewer rat in it's environment.

By crikey, look! It's a hillwilliam in their natural habitat! The children fight for dominance, while thier mother threatens them!

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