First off, this is LONG, but I appreciate anyone who has the time to read it all and give me feedback on this. THANK YOU!

I realize this should probably go to my blog instead, however, I had an extremely powerful and profound experience today in school, and I do honestly doubt it will be my last.

Let me first start off and explain about a few things that have been going on. I'm currently studying to be a massage therapist and I've only been in the program, literally, for three days (since Jan 14). It's been orientation for the last few days and I'm studying at a school that specializes in nothing but massage therapy. It's not just academic, it is an amazingly spiritual place as well.

Well, we have had some interesting experiences, some that really touched people. Yesterday, for example, we met the older class of students who will graduate at the end of April. We met them in a unique way. We all went outside and made a large circle as one huge group. There are about sixty five or so in the new group and probably about that much in the older group. We, as the new students took one step forward and formed an inner circle and turned to face the circle of older students surrounding us. We held our hands out and they took them for about ten seconds and we just made contact and met non-verbally that way. It was all body language.

I ended up noticing quite a bit, heat, cold, those who projected energy, those who drained it and those who were balanced, and then of course those who were really strong and I'm not sure they realized it. More than one of us got our fingers nearly crushed by one of the older class. This experience was profound for most, and extremely emotional, however, I didn't seem to really react to it, except to two people. One of which I didn't want to let go of my hands, the other I wanted to hurry up and move on. I feel that it was too short a meeting to really get a good connection with someone.

So, today we had another interesting experience involving touch. Most of our experiments and such are, of course, but today's really had a profound effect on me and it made me extremely emotional to the point of tears.

The exercise was pretty simple, and I'm going to summarize the first two parts because it gets long to sit and explain each part, it was the last part that was most important. What we had to do was play either client or therapist, the first time around the client was instructed to feel helpless, or feel like they were helpless. The second time when we switched roles with our partner the client had to feel expectant of perfection and demanding of a really good massage. What we had to do as the therapist was simply hold our client's head in our hands and cradle it. Both times it was a little different and the point of these parts is to explore how we felt in each role of working with someone who has been through a lot and is helpless like that and then working with those who are demanding and expecting a million dollar massage. It was great hearing the responses of how everyone felt in each role both client and therapist, even the director of the school had a profound experience as he had to participate as we have an odd number in our class.

The third part of the exercise was different than the first two. We were instructed to sit facing our partners, close enough to touch, but not touching. We were instructed to close our eyes and visualize ourselves and our partner as being perfect and with no flaws, perfect as we were at the moment, as best we could. We sat for a few minutes and visualized this, tried to feel this and then we were told to reach out and find our partners hands and just hold them and feel that sense of perfection and wholeness.

So, of course, there we sat together with our eyes closed just thinking and experiencing and letting our minds go where they may as we felt this feeling of wholeness, that neither of us needed anything that we were fine and perfect as we were. After a few minutes it was extremely amazing how I no longer felt the hands of my partner anymore, in a way. I felt them, I held them, however, it was more like they were an extension of myself.

As I sat like that, feeling that, I felt suddenly at peace in a way I haven't in the Goddess and God only know how long. I felt truly whole and in the moment and so connected to everything all at once. I can't recall a time I felt like that, not recently anyway. Suddenly that notion I've heard "All water is One water" made perfect sense to me. I realized that all people were truly one like the water, we may be individuals, or in the case of water, drops, and yet we were all connected in some deep way that we've forgotten about somehow. I realized that no matter how far apart I felt at times with my group-mates, at lunch when I sat alone for the past few days feeling as an outsider, that I was not disconnected from them like I thought, I always am, even with distance between us. I also, for the first time in a long time, experienced a lack of fear or nervousness about my image. I suddenly realized that we're all going to be in the same position with each other, that all of humanity is really just as vulnerable as I am at any given moment and I shouldn't be so worried about being judged or what not. At that moment I felt the entire room as one-mind, one-spirit and it was amazing.

We were instructed to release our partners hands when we felt it appropriate. At the moment I had an interesting thought. I thought "But how can I let them go? How can I disconnect when it is a part of me?" I was beyond feeling that separation between our hands and it was a foreign concept at the moment to 'let go' and 'break' the connection. We each seemed to have an excruciating time bringing ourselves to doing this ever so slowly.

My partner confirmed how I felt when we were told to simply open our eyes and just look on our partner and notice if we saw them differently than we had before. We then got to discuss it and we were really of one mind then in our feelings of not wanting to break that connection and let go. As I looked at her my eyes started to sting and I had to clamp down to keep from crying right then and there. It was the sudden lack of that connection, and the relief of such a realization and really it was just so over-whelming to feel all of that. I haven't felt right in nearly a year and for once I finally feel balanced and truly lighthearted again. I no longer felt this immense pressure and darkness on my shoulders and it was too amazing. Unfortunately I couldn't share it with the rest of the sixty or so people because i knew that if I even attempted it I wouldn't be able to bring the words forward without streaming tears down my cheeks.

It was such a wonderful experience. Not sad at all, simply overwhelming to feel that. I don't think people do this, allow themselves to experience touch in this way and to really just meet people with simple touch. Sure, we shake hands but how often do you notice the finer details of fingerprints, heat/cold, smoothness, etc.? Couples hold hands but do they really focus on the details and how the others hand feels, or do they simply notice the pressure and grip of the other?

Ever notice how people seem scared to even slightly touch someone now-a-days, even barely brushing their shoulder against another in passing. I am gaining a severe appreciation for the sense of touch and how amazingly powerful our sense of touch can be and how amazingly intuitive and magickal it can be too.

What are your thoughts on this experience? Have you ever had any super-profound experiences that have changed you somehow?

This will not be my last, I can guarantee that for certain, but already I feel myself changing in such an amazing way. I feel I am finally where I belong, not just spiritually but as a whole. I found my place spiritually a year and some odd months ago finally but it wasn't my only place left to find, I feel now I have finally found my place in life itself and I look forward with hope and courage and strength to the days ahead in this school and whatever may come. I face it now without fear of failing as I did only days ago, without anxiety about being with so many people, nervous about my image, their judgements, and I feel so much better for it all...

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This was a really quick choice I made, and it really is ironic it was really one person who pointed us toward the massage therapist that first suggested it. If I hadn't gone that day, or been invited along, I have no idea where I'd be right now!

My aunt was EXTREMELY negative about it telling me all these things people have, such as scabies and such. I shrugged it off, she can be concerned about me not seeing them if they have it, but more often than not a person with scabies or some other skin problem will NOT go to a therapist like that, or head lice or the like. She admitted it was a job she would never be able to do, she's the high maintenance type, but she was extremely negative claiming her massage therapist friends pointed out all these bad things about it, but what about the good? I don't need to see well to do this job and anything people have that I can catch, can be cured. She had to point out all the guys that end up a little TOO happy about their massages and all and I was like "Ok, I already know all that, thanks."

I didn't let her discourage me though, I didn't let her negative attitude ruin the idea that this will be life-changing and all for the better for me. I can't wait to get into it and make my own little healing house or something of the sort. So relaxing, even as the therapist it's relaxing. Can't wait to show her that I'm more than capable to do this and by the Goddess I will be good, if not great at it!
It seems you have found your path. What a wonderful experience you have had, and yes you will have many more.
Touching can be a loving, healing, embracing experience, I have a friend who is a massage therapist and she told me once that when she does her massages sometimes she gets very enlightening visions.

I know you will love your new occupation and I congradulate you.

May your new path bring you much happiness!

Thanks Pam!

I think it really will. It is just another start and step in the right direction. I know it's where I'm supposed to be, but I don't know where it will end up leading me in the end. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm excited to see what happens next and I already feel sad at the idea of having to leave here in six months, I know the time will go by so fast, I won't want to leave this place because it is such an amazing sense of togetherness and community.
Your very welcome. It always amazes me how we travel through life and come across some enlightening gifts along the way. I can honestly say that as a whole, my path has been very good to me. I have had some major rocks that I have come across in my path but they were taken and put in a locked box and are forever gone. Blessings Adaria

I really enjoyed reading your post. I came online tonight for a very specific reason. I have been so busy of late, dealing with mundane cares, and have missed my 'spiritual' time. And then I read this. It reminded me just how important it is to nourish our spirits and souls.
You wrote it very well. I am so glad you took the time to share this. Thank you!
Blessings in Abundance!
Thanks for taking the time to read it and I am SO HAPPY it helped somehow.

I've been needing to remind myself of this often lately. It is so important to feed ourselves in all levels and most of the time in this rush-rush-rush world we tend to forget about that. I neglect it more often than I would like to admit to!

A lot has been going on that is pretty post-worthy but I've been so busy I haven't had the time to write about it. I'll have to post some things soon once I catch up on some well-deserved rest.

Love and Light,
Definitely it is utterly important and necessary for so many things. If you don't get a lot of it you become a touch junkie like meeeee.

It's a great thing and it just keeps getting better!
Well Done!

thats a lovely experience!...
I Love the responses also!..

One step closer!

Aye aye!
That seems like a shame, it wasn't too scary, and we started with the hands at first.

Touching hand to hand was easiest, we use our hands so much and it is such a neutral zone of touch because generally we high five each other or shake hands, it's normal for hands to meet and greet at times.

It would be worth a shot at trying it, even if it was frightening, I had issues touching people before I started here but it all vanished. Like I said above now I'm a touch junkie, though I still like people to be clean and all when I touch them and all!
I thought it was a lovely post also, and I love to give massage too. I am not a professional but my sister is. I thank you for sharing this nice story. I hope you enjoy and do well with your studies. I'm sure you will. Have a lovely day.


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