All Beliefs are Welcome Here!
Sooo I have fibromyalgia. One of the mystery syndromes. I also have IBS, CF, MF & others I can't remember right now. (fibo.fog) It took many years, many tests & many doctors to get this diagnoses. Yes I have depression. Not sure what came first. I also have PTSD, anxiety disorder & again...others I can't remember.
Anyone want to share their story? Maybe offer advice or encouragement? B :-}
My biggest issue is my lack of self-confidence. It's held me back for more than 40 years. I think it was the way I was raised, and constantly being compared unfavorably to my high-achieving cousins.
Family can really do a number on you. My parents were not hands-on plus we moved a lot so I had very few friends. I hated school because I was an outcast, very shy & quiet & when I was old enough I quit. I still have self-confidence issues but I'm working on them with the help of my therapist.
I still have anxiety attacks, especially in a room with more that a couple of people. I simply can not speak; my hands shake, my heart pounds & I have trouble breathing. Self-talk does not always help. When I was a kid, I stuttered a lot, that did not help. Sometimes even today if I'm in a bad situation I still do.
My biggest issue is my lack of self-confidence, mostly pertaining to my weight. It's getting better, slowly but surely - both the weight and the self-confidence.
The issue that's not getting better, however, is dealing with my time in the military. I've been out for almost four years now but somehow these things stay with me; haunting me one moment, cheering me the next. Suppose it's not a good sign I still wake up with nightmares. Some days it feels like my time in the military never happened and is just a dream I could forget about if I didn't have the tattoos to remind me, and other days it feels like I'm still serving, startled by certain noises and happenings. I miss it, yet I loathe it. I'm happy I did it, yet I'd never do it again. I somehow have Stockholm Syndrome for the military, and it's so hard to explain. I both miss and hate that lifestyle, but I both resent and appreciate living as a civilian for oh so many reasons. So here I am. Stuck in the middle of two very different cultures and life-styles, still unable to adjust to certain things. And I get that it's my issue and I need to figure it out for myself, but the hard part is no one can relate to it. No one I know has ever experienced military life, no less have the re-culture shock of coming back to the life that was once familiar to you. So how do I talk about it to the ones I love?
Anyways. Thanks for reading.
Sounds like you have PTSD, my hubby has it. He deals with a lot that you do. He has therapy twice a month plus takes a lot of meds. to make it through the day. As for your love ones, maybe you could ask a therapist? It's tough for sure & if you wish to share more, please do.
As for the weight, I'm right there with you.