Here I go again, bitching, but come on!! I tried to be someone else, I tried to put it all out of my mind, and I tried the confident thing...but I'm still single. With everyone around me having someone I wonder if it's just me? I mean, I have mostly guy friends but no serious relationship. It seems like everytime i get close to a guy and think things are going somewhere he either vanishes or falls for one of my friends. This is all just so irritating and I am sick and tired of seeing people around me have everything I want and take it for granted. I'm trying my best here but everytime i get an inch a two-by-four gets taken out from under me. Oppinions?
Just my thoughts...don't try so hard. Case in point...almost any guy will tell you that when they are single and looking its harder to find someone. Get into a relationship/marriage and all of a sudden there are lots of girls to date...why? When you try for it then things tend to not happen. I don't know why it is, or what the mechanics are...it just is. Hope that helps!
Good point, I had mostly given up recently then out of the blue a friend(girl) who I've known a while now but hadn't talked to in a while but I always liked her contacted me. We were never more than friends with benefits but she just got out of a relationship and what sounds like a nasty breakup and she came to me-pretty quickly, I still have no idea if it will turn I to anything but I really hope so, I need this right now.
I do agree with WolfGoddess. Myself I have been single for 3 years, (I also have a lot of guy friends), but in the same time I don't really put myself out there at the moment (to much on the go, and too much that I need to get done). Sure @ times I feel lonely but I also know it will happen in time... Also to add always be yourself, never pretend to be something you are not. Because if a guy does not like you for you, he is not worth it. Remember the more you look the harder they are to find... Just relax and do your own thing the right guy will come along :)
Every relationship I have ever had has come along when I don't at all want one... its odd that way with me I guess... and they always happen in the fall. meh.. My advice to you is this, don't look, just be you, and let it find you. You never know you may have been off wandering around trying to find your someone while he was chasing after you wondering why you keep moving so much lol. And try not to base your happiness on a relationship or the existence of one, if your not happy outside of one you'll never be happy in one. Above all be yourself, it may seem like you'd be happy having someone fall for that false you but at some point you will get sick of being someone your not, and also you want someone to fall for YOU not some ideal you pretend to be. My brightest wishes to you and your future.
I agree heres my secret... Married people seem to have mre confdence sometimes.... Pretend your a little bit taken not alot. Guys seem to like that more? It seemed to work for me?
Yup they always want you after your married never fails. Yes it mainly happens when, your not looking..
I kind of know how you feel. During my teen years I was hoping for a loving relationship with a woman a I really liked. Over the years there have been about 6 that I wanted to get serious with, but none of them were willing to get involved because they already had another boyfriend or something. Everytime I was rejected I was hurt, but soon after I was able to walk away like it was nothing. Like you, it made me mad at other people who had the girlfriends that I wanted to have.
Then I eventually realized, what do I need a relationship for? All the romantic relationships I've seen with my friends eventually fail, and not on good terms. It ends up just causing alot of hurt in the end and a waste of money and time. Instead, I chose to focus on my own interests and pursuits rather than an emotional entanglement I didn't need. To me it's a certain kind of freedom, having no obligations to someone who could just as easily break your heart as they can caress it.
I'm not saying you should give up if it's in your will to get into a relationship. Keep in mind I've never been a "neurotypical" social-type person. But you should analyze why you really want a serious relationship right now. You're still young, you still have many years to get into something serious if it turns out its something you really want. Don't rush into a commitment just because everyone else you know is. It's far more important and worthwhile to be what really fits YOU best in life rather than trying to be what mainstream society thinks you should be.
I agree that after a while you adapt. With me it was like after relationships didn't happen for so long they became almost alien-I'd heard about them but wasn't really sure if they really existed so I kind of stopped thinking about them.
Story of my life-just reversed, same thing with me regarding women. Hoping that will change very soon but based on the person I'm hoping about it's very iffy. I can't figure her out. I have wondered recently if I'll never find someone I can actually have a real relationship with. I mean if it hasn't happened yet maybe it never will. I guess there's always the chance of drunken/strung out on drugs one night stands.... I would love nothing more to have a real relationship. I asked the Christian god countless times to help me find someone, never had any luck with that...
I do see my life possibly going (further) downhill though. The longer I go lonely the more depressed I get and the more desperate I get. I'm at the point now where I'm trying damn near every drug I can get my hands on, just to feel something but it still doesn't come close to being with a woman-based on the very little experience I have with that but at least I do have some decent memories involving women so that gives me a little hope...
I agree with some others on being yourself. Don't change who you are, be you, people should like you for being you and if not they're a waist of your time, don't conform.
Also, my only semi logical conclusions for my predicament are, if there's a hell I'm already there, or I fuckef up bad in a prior life, possibly mistreated women so now I could be paying for it with what would be a suitable punishment. I don't know if I believe in either of those though. Maybe it's just random bad luck but I don't know if I believe in that either!...
Just keep dating - you're young! I'm in my 40's and still searching for a "serious relationship" and true love ; )
But I'm still having good experiences dating people and feeling good about myself...usually lol
be who you really are and don't get desperate. if you find a peace with yourself and accept that you're perfect as you are and you don't really need anyone else to have a perfect life - then you are open for a relationship with another person who already achieved that state. love yourself, do what you will, and be open - don't look for it, be surprised and enjoy life as it is )O(