In the last year my life has been full of unexpected changes.  Some of these changes has pulled at a long standing fear of growing old.  I think more of it being of dying.  In the past 10 years I have lost 3 extremely close family members under the age of 50.  This has not helped much.  Then I had to go and stir the pot and begin moving houses and I am considering another one for this year.  So now I have to fight fears that I thought I had reconciled.  My only child will be an adult in a year and I have been the career woman and mother.  My health had some unanswered questions for about 17 years that suddenly we have answers for.  Before the answers I lived like I was dying.  Everyone being cautious around me.  Now I can start to live like I am living and have no idea where to start.  I still have physical limitations due to my illnesses.  But, I am in need of peace and at 38 for the first time I am at a complete loss as to where and how to start over.  Where do you begin once you have got out of bed?

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Hi Elora.  I well understand the feelings of having lost a number of loved ones in a short space of time.  I also understand having an illness without answers.  But the one thing that I have learned is that the 'heart can smile'.  When heavily stressed I close my eyes and 'feel' a smile come up from way down deep inside.  Then I take a deep breath. If at first I don't feel the smile come up then I keep trying until it does.

Because of your fear of dying and the changes you are going through I think my best suggestion to you would be to practice what I do.  However, in your case I think it would be a good idea when you awake each morning and sit on the edge of the bed that you 'feel your heart smile' and remind yourself that you are still alive, that you still have hope, peace and promises of better things to come in front of you.  And you will be starting the day off right.

Peace and happiness to you Elora.

Raya

Thank you Raya.  I will try some techniques in the mornings to add to my wake up.  This is a good one to start with and will give me a use for my Rose Quartz that sleeps next to my bed.

I attempted a different approach to your method but it happens before sleep.  I cleared myself before going to bed and then opened myself up to lucid dreaming.  Today has been a better day.

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