now that i am here i ask myself why was it that i came? oh yes...no...did it start by searching for her? i dont believe so...i had many thoughts as i was trying to do the correct thing and rest....my intent i still cannot quite fathom....i know i am inexplicably drawn to find her and in way i found a piece of her walking the bit of road i took here today....a warmth along the road i remember...of vision of the three of us..figures holding hands in circle....it is a great sadness that we… Continue
Added by Sylla on May 26, 2012 at 8:59am —
"Sacred Bat...flew to me,
From the darkness of the cave.
Answers it gave.
Birth, death, rebirth,
Cycles of the whole....
The journey of the soul."
[Medicine Cards..Jamie Sams and David Carson]
Bat told to always be my Father-Protector standing at my left. Will give me courage to find my warrior spirit.
I do hope that my soul is on a journey. Feel that the journey neither began… Continue
Added by Sylla on August 15, 2009 at 2:19am —
everything so up close, with utmost scrutiny, it's exhausting. every detail does carry weight but purpose is lost sometimes. how can this be what grounds me? i say that then of course, it comes, why yes it is deep down in the dirt my nose is inspecting things. and how can this keep me on my path? now that reply doesn't come so easy. and how can i see/perceive the ground when i can only see such a tiny piece of it at a time?
straight up. i'm afraid of myself. not this big house, the… Continue
Added by Sylla on August 9, 2009 at 7:17am —
Is what I'm experiencing fear? My brain refuses to work. My body/actions awkward. Thank goodness my phone is not working, surely speech would be incomprehensible.
2 nights ago kitty brought me a bat, into this room where I am sitting now. Alive but only able to flap on his back. Last night it was a bird. 3 grey feathers sit here with me now.
And from what seems like eons ago, the Seer is here.
And there is the Guardian with the Sword who will cut down what stands in my… Continue
Added by Sylla on July 24, 2009 at 11:27pm —
I'm in the no-thingness. The space in between. A very uncomfortable place. Conversations with people in my dreams mix with reality and I'm sure of not much. There was someone, something. Now all seems lost. But the trail blazed is still faintly visible. Will it burn completely out? Seems out of my control at the moment.
I don't know what to say or how to act. Some of me wants it all to be over, most of me still holding a candle. The full moon is just passed. What was waxing? A state… Continue
Added by Sylla on July 8, 2009 at 7:57pm —
It's time for sleep now. Past time. Tomorrow if what seems to me now needs to happen will require some endurance. And I'm low on that right now, easily frustrated, slightly out of focus.
When I close my eyes tonite I want to open them also and hopefully in the darkness behind my eyelids I'll see a faint white spiraling worm hole, or how to say, tube helix, vortex. Not sure if what I hope to see is some trick of the light filtering through my eyelids, a figment of my brain's… Continue
Added by Sylla on June 5, 2009 at 4:21am —
Flying belly down in white space, orange clounds against a blue sky square just ahead
• Posted by Sylla on February 20, 2009 at 3:20am
At some point I laid down. Don't remember thinking anything particular. Time must have passed. Then square ahead. My eyes don't leave it but I am aware of only white space surrounding me. I feel my body is there, no particular sensations. I am moving ahead. No wind, nothing to gauge that I am moving as the square stays fixed at the same point ahead of… Continue
Added by Sylla on May 25, 2009 at 12:36am —
Mostly cloudy with a chance of rain
• Posted by Sylla on February 19, 2009 at 7:21am
Swift winds from the west brought in dark storm clouds yesterday. Seemed they came from the west, it was impossible to tell for sure. Quite confusing. The air suddenly was heavy with moisture, though it did not rain. Even so, I decided to head indoors and get some rest as its hard to do much of anything under the shadow of such dense clouds.
Morning came and I wasn't surprised to find it… Continue
Added by Sylla on May 25, 2009 at 12:35am —
In the bright incandescent light of my desk lamp a pixie fluttered erractically. She was dying. I had seen her tribe 2 before. On the day I spoke to the wind that my life is good. And out fron on the grass . one almost let me touch.
wasn't meant to be and i am glad. tonite though the time came. she was spinning in a circle now then rested in the shadow up against my hand. she passed to namaste music, my 'jaya jaya'
Added by Sylla on May 24, 2009 at 1:01am —
The gears in my head right now are turning and churning out similar incomplete products for some time. I have no idea where this blog is going to end up, but will be better than here....
So I'm confused...I lost my job and finances immediately became dire. Though because of the flood of unstructured spaces in time I've had now for almost 2 weeks wonderful things have happened.
I dug through some underbrush behind my home and found my walking stick. Didn't have a hack saw… Continue
Added by Sylla on May 21, 2009 at 7:36pm —
I woke up with an unusual calmness Friday morning. Lately upon waking often a thought or feeling seems to be left over from whatever my brain was busy doing while I was away. This weekend I have heard this sound in my home twice now. The first time last night I think around 930 or so in my bedroom while sitting with new kitty Pignola ("Pig"). I hadn't planned on going to bed that early. Just before I entered the bedroom I had been wishing that my new kitty and nearly 2 year old Pekoe would… Continue
Added by Sylla on May 3, 2009 at 2:19am —
Who am I as minutes tick to soon end this day. Nine years. My line has struggled and not been able to cling to this earth. And now me, I am not afraid of sadness. It cleanses me but why is there no tap to its root? No channel from waters which grow stagnent. There is a tarot card named "Intensity" There is a shadow over it always. Fear. Of what? My mind must be made a servant. My soul is not there in the mind.
And now a link has formed.
"Can I really evaluate my soul, me,… Continue
Added by Sylla on April 22, 2009 at 12:00am —