My husband and I got in a big fight. I am so pissed at him. We were trying to clean out the car so we could drop it off at this one guys place that will sell it at an auction for us, He was being an ass, telling me that I wasn't doing anything and that I need to get off my ass and help. After about an hour of this verbal abuse I had enough.I told him to fuck off and that he could finish the job himself. Now his mother is bitching at me for making him finish by himself.. I dont care. He was treating me like crap. I understand he wanted the job done, but he didnt have to be an ass about it. I just want to scream. And my kids have been at each others throats all day. They are driving me nuts. And I'm stuck here fighting with them while my husband gets to get out of the house. He is going to pick our other van. I havent been out of the house in months. Not even to the store. I feel so isolated and lonely. I want so badly to visit my mother. I am so depressed. All that happens here is I am stuck at home with my mother in law who tells me how worthless I am. I hate my life. If I didn't love my family so much, well I don't know. I have lived here three miserable fucking years and I hate it here. I hate my mother in law and I want to move but considering my husband cant seem to get a job, it will be a long time before that happens. Not to mention that my mother in law is handicapped and I have to help her. So I'll always be stuck with her. I don't believe in divorce, but I am surely being tested. Ive been institutionalized twice while living here and I am scared that I may need to go back because I aam losing control of things here. I dont know what to do. I have enough health problems of my own, but I push on and try and make the best of things. Im sick of trying to be a stepford wife. I nearly had an affair two years ago because I couldn't handle things at home, and I found comfort my ex. Now I have no one to turn to. I am all alone. Except for Paganspace, I dont talk to people other than my mother. I have run out of options. The future looks bleak. I would never leave my kids without a mother. I just want things to be alright. I'm sick of being on the losing side of things.

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