All Beliefs are Welcome Here!
Hello my fellow witches. Hope everyone had a blessed new years! One of my New Years resolutions is to learn how to understand and control my empathetic abilities. At a young age I began to realize that my emotions were very different from most people's. The first thing I noticed that I found strange was that I often felt very strong emotions that I didn't understand, and didn't seem to be connected to anything that was occurring in my life. For example, on my 7th birthday I had a small birthday party at my house involving a few close friends. A few weeks before my party my best friend and I had a falling out. She aggressively brought up the fact that my parents were divorced, which greatly upset me. I stopped talking to her after that and decided not to invite her to my birthday party. I distinctly remember that while my friends were singing "happy birthday" to me before having cake, I was bombarded with an overwhelming feeling of sadness, and like I had been left out of something. I began to cry and everyone stopped singing, asking me what was wrong. I was supposed to be happy, it was my birthday! I told them I did not know why I was crying, I just felt sad. My mother told me years later after I had brought up this situation, that on that day when I was crying I had told her "I feel like I am not sad. Someone else is. I just feel sad for them." This caught my interest, because after we had cake on that day, I went outside to be alone and gather my thoughts, when I saw my best friend sitting across the street with her head in her lap, crying. As soon as I saw her I began to get these racing thoughts in my head, saying, "She doesn't want to be my friend anymore. She didn't even invite me to her party." As a child, these feelings and thoughts were very frightening to me. It was like I didn't know who I was because I somehow had all this information in my head about other people, sometimes complete strangers! As I have grown older, these abilities have become immensely powerful, to the point where I sometimes know exactly what is going on in others lives, and how it affects them emotionally. Its as if I become that person and experience their particular situation as if I were them. My ability to experience empathy for others has been both extremely helpful and overly stressful. About a year ago my mother attempted to commit suicide. She was living in Arizona at the time while I was living with my father in Virginia. While laying in bed one night I started having faint visions of my mother, and hearing her voice. I saw her laying on the floor, lifeless, without a soul. It was the darkest feeling I have ever experienced. I heard her voice saying, "Please hear me, I need help." I immediately got out of bed, called my grandmother, whom my mother was living with, and began repeating in my head, "I heard you. Everything will be OK." I told my grandmother to call 911 and check on my mom. My mother was found on the floor, having overdosed. She was brought to the hospital and thank the God and the Goddess, she survived. When I flew to Arizona to see my mother, she told me that she was so scared and alone, and she thought about me and asked for help. She said she heard my voice in her head saying, "I heard you. Everything will be OK." After this experience I became aware that I was able to receive the message of others emotions and somehow project my emotional thoughts back to that person. This is an example of how empathy has helped me. But i still struggle with constantly experiencing the emotional lives of others, and not knowing how to handle it. So, if you've read this post and can relate or have any advice, please message me.