in february 2011 i began a dietary program aimed at losing weight. when i started i weighed in at 340 and had a bmi of 50.4%. i have several medical conditions that made losing weight particularly difficult. i have tried in the past with little or no success. this time seeemed no different. the difference was the doctors i had supporting me. when it became apparent i could not lose the weight by diet and exercise alone, i undertook the decision of weight loss surgery. i did not want surgery, yet i understood that it may have been my only option, and the only oppurtunity at a real life, instead of the half life i was already living. i had become a spectator in my own life. it was with this realization that i decided to undergo surgery. preparing for surgery was no easy task. i had to lose 10% of my body weight before they would consider operating. I went through a lot of lifestyle changes, from what i ate, to how much i ate and so forth. with only nutrition and exercise changes i managed to pull off 40 lbs in 8 months. in october of 2011 i underwent gastric bypass. my stomach was reduced to the size of a jumbo chicken egg. it can only contain 6 ounces of food at one time. the opening to the stomach called the stoma was also reduced to the size of a pencil eraser. so i had to learn how to chew food very fine before swallowing or else risk getting it stuck and ultimately throwing up. as a person who ate fast and did not chew my food, this was particularly challenging. i have had to eat things that were utterly horrible before and after surgery. i am 6 months post op and i am now 131 lbs lighter than i was february 2011. i have lost 91lbs since surgery and i do not regret it. when i started, simple tasks like bathing were difficult as i had trouble getting in and out of the shower. i could not stand for long periods and at times i could barely walk. i am now in much better health, and while i may never run a marathon, i can play with my kids without being easily winded and that is precious to me. when i started the doctor told me i had the body of a 50 year old. yesterday i was told that i had the body of someone my own age. i added years to my life by losing weight. i lowered the risk of heart disease which is prevalent in my family. i discovered i was diabetic and have since gotten my sugar under control and am not on medication. my bipolar has improved as i was able to get stable and remain so even after surgery. i am down from a tight size 26 to a 16 which is snug, but i can fit it. i am now at 209lbs and although my doctor tells me not to expect to go below 175lbs, i can actually see myself reaching that goal. if i were to get to 159 i would no longer be considered overweight. as it is i have been downgraded from morbidly obese to just obese, which i consider a victory. i am 15 lbs from being overweight. i am immensely pleased with my progress. I can eat pretty much what i want (i have trouble with dairy and starches, and sugary foods) but otherwise i can have it in moderation. I may never eat a whole hamburger again (i can manage only half) but i dont really need it. just the few bits i get are good enough for me. having to cut something completely out of my life was something i just couldnt do. i cant survive on meal replacement shakes and fad diets just arent me. I eat what little i can, and thats good enough for me. I have learned to listen to my body and let it tell me when im done, rather than clean my plate and call it good. it may still bother me to throw away food, but i would rather throw it away than wear it. i am now more active with my family, and capable of making real memories with them rather than watching from the sidelines as my life passed me by. to those critical of my decision for weight loss, i say walk in my shoes. be 27 and have to ask your spouse to help you out of the bathtub. have to tell your kids you cant play with them because you are tired all the time. i did what i thought was best. i am happy with my decision. i have lost 20% of my body fat. that satisfies me more than any negativity could bring me down. I have done this with the support of my friends and family and although i would have done it without their support, it is much better with it. I went through this journey with my wonderful hubby who has been by my side and has undergone weight loss surgery at the same time as me. he is now 219 lbs lighter. together we have lost 350lbs. i will keep updating my progress in this journey. thank you paganspace friends for all the kind words and encouragement. i really appreciate it.

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Comment by Celticwillow-Katgoddess13 on April 29, 2012 at 9:27am

congratations to you!!! I know someone who had the same surgery and she is doing great!! You made the right choice and yes sometimes diet and excercise doesn't work. so keep up the good work!!! blessings to you!!

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