This is my first blog post on paganspace so here it is.

Lately i have been having some depression issues. Just three months ago i moved in with my boyfriend due to that my parents kicked me out. In this time i have been down and just sad, crying, depression related. Just tonight My boyfriend who was a bit depressed decided to drink. I shrugged it off as okay that is how he copes with is depression. Now for three months I have been trying to cope with this depression and what i normally do is sit and become almost like a hermit. Now I have Aspergers and this is common amongst those with the syndrome. Just about an hour ago he puts his book down and lays on the bed and he asks me why I don't like having fun anymore. I ask to explain further thinking well he might draw the conclusion that i am still in my hermit stage. He asked why I don't like playing the games that we liked to play before. I did not have the heart to tell him that when we were playing with a group of friends he just took me out in three turns of a game. I have never been happy playing with him since. I think now just have him sleep his drunk ass off and tell him in the morning. but that is not the rest of the story. He then got off the bed in a huff and went into the office slamming the door.

Now at this point I am thinking what did I say that made him so pissy. I was thinking so hard that i started to cry and thinking "oh dear gods this is the end of our relationship right here" i think that it's best to sleep on the couch right now.

you know what is sad he doesn't even consider the possibility to research aspergers so that he knows what I am going though. It's sad that he doesn't care.

Right now I have so much going on that I am tired of it all.


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Comment by rainbowwaves on September 18, 2009 at 9:53am
ok kiddo.. depression hurts.... it hurt u but it also hurts the ones around you.... when a person is depressed all they can think of is them selfs. they dont understand how their depression effects the people around them.
I can have real bad moments of depression. My husband blames himself. he feels like it his fault. i feel that if you want to save your relationship and at the same time your self. get help..
Stop owning ur depression. you are allowing your depression to control you life. well stop it. he is getting upset because you have completely blocked him out.
the best way to fight depression is to do the opposite... if the depression say hide... dont go out with freinds.. please understand .... he dont need to understand the disease.... all he wants to know is if you are going to fight it and live or own it and wither away..
go get help please


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