I was young when I picked up my path. No older then 6. Everything was predetermined. My mother wouldn't teach me, so I went to someone who could. Well....more like I was picked up by someone that could. I never questioned it, because that was the way things were for me.....I was to young to think otherwise. 

My old Teacher, Ellen, was a young firecracker. Long blond hair, piercing ocean eyes, shorter then most grown women.......but she had an air about her that demanded attention. She'd walk into a room and everyone would go silent. Not really in a Hollywood movie way, but more of a slanted stare from the corner of your eye kind of way so the person you were quietly whispering about wouldn't notice. 

She was a master herbalist, dreamweaver, energy healer, and occultist. She taught me how to spot edible plants no matter where in the world I am, how to read cards/tea leaves/runes/fire scrying/water scrying, how to make medicine, how to harvest and store plants, how to summon, how a poison used in the correct way can heal as well as kill, and much more. 

The most important thing I learned from her, I think, was the importance of a light and dark path in a persons life. She taught me the ways of the "dark" arts (i.e. Demonology/Occult) but she also showed me many "light" arts, and she said one day I would have to pick. Naturally I picked what came easy for me and those that went before me in my family, Greenwitchery. 

When I graduated my studies I slowly began to hate my gifts, and hate that I never had a choice. Everything was assumed for me........ I was a freak. I couldn't walk down a street without getting flashes from everything I touched. I couldn't sit in class without seeing a "other", and speaking to them. Which then caused me to have the amazing name schitzo around school. I couldn't have one nights rest without spirits wanting me for one reason or another. All my training told me to not resist, just let it come and ride it out. But I didn't want to. I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted the biggest thing I had to worry about was dating, work, grades....not where was the best place to hide incase a naughty 'other' wanted to play a game with me. 

I think my resistance hurt my teacher. She always liked to pretend she was a bad ass. For her covens sake as well as the publics. But sometimes when I look back....back at the face she made when I screamed at her that I hated her for what I am...I think I really destroyed her. 

After that, we never spoke again. I stopped visiting during the Sabbats/Esbats. I stopped speaking to her when we passed each other in the store. And she stopped seeing me....

I became her dead prodigy student, who was meant to take over her coven. What a loss and a waste....

Now I hear that she's set to cross over the veil soon. Doctors has found 3 tumors, 2 in her chest and 1 in her stomach. It's terminal. The worst part is that I found out from a neighbor.....

I don't really know what to do, how to react, or what to say.

She was my teacher. My greatest friend. Now she's headed toward the veil at the ripe age of 55....?

There is so much I should of written down, so much I should of remembered.....

All the lessons, and the memories.....they will be gone soon......the only things that will be left are what I still remember and have recorded, the rest are lost to the wind.

This news is a little more then I can bear.

BB~Raven  

Views: 41

Comment by d'Arqstar on February 21, 2011 at 11:46pm
So??? What's to keep you from sending her this observation? Or what's to stop you from going to see her, calling her, sending a letter? You've captured your thoughts quite nicely here, maybe she'd appreciate reading them. Meh? Just a thought!
Comment by Raven Shadowflame on February 22, 2011 at 8:48am

@d'Arqstar- Perhaps your right. 

@Vincent- I've been thinking about doing it, its just wether or not she'd see me that has me worried. I know that's a childish fear....but it's a fear of mine non the less. The last thing I want is to make her mistake and close myself off to everyone but myself to the point where I become a literal brick wall. So I guess preventing that would be to open up and take the risk of having her slam the door in my face again....

Ah well...nothing ventured nothing gained I guess. 

Thanks for the advice, you two. 

BB~Raven

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