All Beliefs are Welcome Here!
Well, I realize that I haven't posted in about a week. No scrying since then, I have had to stop for a while, the energies from doing that keep me up for weeks, have to master the art of clearing and grounding I guess.
So earlier, around 3 hours ago, I decided to go to bed. The day had been pretty much a total waste, woke up late, writing a book but only wrote a few paragraphs, wasted time watching a Johnny Carson documentary on Netflix, tried to hop on to chat here but it's off and on, and I seem to be easily distracted the past couple of weeks. Haven't read either of the two books I recently got since last Saturday/Sunday. Nothing came of the whole Odin thing, tried automatic typing, asked for a sign, nothing, and nothing since then.
I often sleep with some sound in the background, some music or a video. I don't know why, it's always been easier to sleep with some sort of intelligible sound on. And often, when I attempt trance, any sort of visualization exercise seems to be more of a distraction than a help. The times I have slipped into trance, it was always to something almost completely unrelated. A commercial, Doctor Who, or some unrelated programming, something that can be unengaging.
When I am listening to visualization exercises, the critical mind goes nuts. "This is stupid, why does it have to be a beach, I hate beaches! I don't want to step down in water! (Had a time in my childhood where I nearly drowned) Why does the guide have to be a guy?"
I get it, people react differently to different stimuli. I accept that. I guess I haven't really found a visualization for self-hypnosis that I like. I'm picky like that.
This time, I was listening to this playlist on YouTube when I entered trance tonight.
I noticed my attention was weak. I wanted to listen but I was kind of out of it. This is the same way it happened before, each time. Like I was really interested in what was being said but I was too worn out to fully listen. I guess the result was listening to the sound of the voice, rather than listening to what was said. Perhaps when visualization exercises are read, I just perceive them as too pretentious, and I start criticizing it.
Well, I wasn't intending to go into trance, but I did have the advantage of realizing when it happened, and recognizing it as such.
So there I was, laying there, listening to the sound of Rev. Don's voice, and it was like a switch was turned on in my mind, or turned off, however you will. Now, I know people make a big deal about clearing one's thoughts, but here I was, literally thinking the words "Oh, I slipped into trance!" like I was having a conversation with myself. In fact, the times I have slipped into trance, this talking seemed to be a necessary part of going into trance, which seems counter-intuitive to the notion of clearing thought.
However, I will also add, to be fair, that when I am doing this conversation, I am not critical of the conversation, especially my end of it. The trance happens when I let the conversation go as it will. When I start saying "Why are you thinking this? That's not cool! You need to fix this, now!"
Perhaps this is due to a misunderstanding on my part. Where as, when I say "Oh, I slipped into Trance, cool!" it's not really a thought, but more of an expression. A reaction to an event. When I say "Why are you thinking this?" it's an analysis, or a thought about an expression, a criticism.
I also know when I completely clear my mind of thought AND expression, nothing really happens. Perhaps it's a matter of figuring out what is expression and what is thought, to express ones self without thought, without criticism. I would note that many times I slipped into trance, I was expressing myself to God, Goddess, an angel, a guide, etc.
One time, around October 2008, I was crashing at someone's place, couldn't find a job there, and I knew she was gonna ask me to leave soon. I was crushed, heartbroken, unable to get anywhere in my job hunt, and would have to return home, where there was no work either. I laid on the couch, outside there was a tree, swaying in the breeze. I remember that strange mode of focus I had, interested in the tree's swaying, but so worn out, was really unable to completely focus, like I was focusing more on the light dancing, rather than the tree itself. I remember talking to the Goddess, expressing sadness, that I had let someone who offered to help me down, and I would have to return home to another broken job market.
I expressed myself for quite some time, and the next thing I remember, I was in a bed, in a room, unfamiliar to me. The room was bathed in this beautiful pink light, and it was emanating from behind me, behind my head and above it. The sweetest, kindest voice talked to me, comforted me, assured me things would be okay. I could not remember what exactly was said, but when I woke up, I was given the news I had to leave. It was like the voice in my trance knew it was going to happen, and was encouraging me to keep going, even despite that.
This time, it was a bit different, it was like I was on a website, ordering things online (bear in mind I didn't have a set goal in mind because the trance was not intentional) But it was like the items on the site were intentions, and I was adding them to my cart, an expression of manifestation. I was also shown a figure like this;
I had the impression this was a sort of technique to talk to the higher self. I have seen this figure before, but I can't remember where at the moment. It looks like two fours on their side, it also looks like part of a bridge, with it's reflection in the water.
I awoke from the trance, the playlist had started over again, and it was right at the beginning of the first video. Not sure if that means anything, but I thought it was pretty cool.